#thank you beloved mutual for allowing me to be ill about them

[limonjarritos]

VINCE IS SO DOWN BAD FOR RODY OH MY GOD??? LITERALLY KILLS HIS EX GIRLFRIEND TO MAKE HIM HAPPY???? THEYVE KNOWN EACH OTHER LESS THAN A WEEK??????

LITERALLY LIKE- MY MAN FELL HARD AND INSANELY. LIKE WHO DOES THAT? I wouldn't have it any other way. Just the way that as soon as Rody came into his life he was like 'I need this man to be so whole-y mine.'

When I was playing the game my pet theory was that he fell for Rody's brand of love, for how he loved Manon (he did say that he spoke of Manon when they first met) and Rody's personality.

(read more because I am so annoying about this game vv)

Something something, how Rody loves so intensely to the detriment of himself (Manon told him to stop giving, to for once in his life realise that he needed to take care of him self and be stable. He can't just account for the other person's needs <- barely know her but I get why Rody was head over heels). How Rody's love is similar to his cooking, burning, burning himself, burning and oh so overwhelming. And I do think Vince wanted the feel of that burn for himself, wanted to feel the warmth and devotion of which he had been so devoid of. To understand what it was he was lacking. How love and cooking go hand in hand in the story, how Vince's dishes were devoid of love, how he can't taste. How Rody's love surely would be strong enough, would be the missing ingredient to allow him to finally taste something. (Also lack of taste going hand in hand with what looks like depression of some sort, or perhaps just apathy for life. How bland his own life may be. How such a love, such a person could perhaps bring some taste to his life.) Vince seems to have killed Manon as a form of trying to show Rody a similar type of love. Giving him something, giving him a meal made out of Rody's own love. A gift since he couldn't give his own brand of love in a way that matters, couldn't give it without showing his own brand of devotion. I do think he 100% had an underlying jealousy and hatred of Manon, how Rody was still stuck up on her. How she never once mentioned Rody when her and Vince dated (though outside of Vince's pov I'm pretty sure Manon was just doing the healthy normal thing by not mentioning an ex?? but Vince is soooo gone) which is obviously a sin (he doesn't seem to take kindly to people who are mean to Rody. Such as the article and Rody's old college classmate) and proof she wasn't deserving enough of Rody's love. But alas she was still a gift and show of love to Rody.

On the personality topic (thought I forgot about that did you?), Rody is such a brash and kind person. A perfect foil for Vincent's more stoic nature. Rody willing to try and befriend Vincent, running into the kitchen to talk to him. He showed a bit of said love to Vince by trying to befriend him and how could Vince not want more? (why wouldn't Vince try to reciprocate in his own way. Make him happy) I mean he seems pretty feared by his cooks, and the people at the party have mentioned that Vince is pretty ruthless, not at all a person many wish to get to know. But Rody is willing to, yet Vince wants his undivided attention...

Okay wow this has gone on way too long uhh I'm 100% open to further discussion especially if I forgot something! And I haven't really looked too much into the game past playing it, so any reveals the creator may have given I'm mostly unaware of and would love to be informed of more!

Anyways tiny Vincent attack!

[leafmint-does-a-meow]

We’re mutuals now which means I’m allowed to be autistic on main <3 You are ABSOLUTELY right in your interpretation of Jekyll, in my opinion. He is trying So Hard to be neurotypical in a world where there isn’t even a word for that, there’s just ‘normal’ and ‘male hysteria’, and I see myself in this poor sad man.

Also, your depiction of the withholding of food to punish a naughty child? And the way Jekyll knows that, as an adult, he puts too much stock in food and drink? The fact that he has enough education to recognize a trauma response but can’t help the fact he’s doing it? The peak of cinema.

Do you think Jekyll ever did, or considered self harm? I have my own thoughts on the matter, but I’d love to hear what you think!

nah man, you always LEAD with being autistic on main! That's how you find all the other people who are deranged absolutely normal about the same stuff you are!

ugh, yeah, I was diagnosed at 17 so I had already gone through school and puberty wondering What Was Wrong With Me. The world isn't built for ND people, even today. It was even worse in the 19th century...

So fun fact! Well...not really fun, but that was a totally accepted thing that the upper class did with their kids. They believed that too much rich food would create immorality in their children when they reached adulthood and it was very common for food to be withheld as punishment. I bought historian Ruth Goodman's book How To Be A Victorian for fic research (Ruth my beloved) and there was a whole chapter that went into depth about food and nutrition.

'While hunger was at its cruellest among the poor, it sent its tendrils winding around the lives of the more wealthy too... Requests for more food were met with pious lectures about carnal desires and pampering to greed... The self-control and self-denial induced by hunger were thought to teach enduring habits of self-sacrifice and to aid in fashioning a more moral individual.'

I really recommend her book and documentaries if you want to learn more about the 19th century :)

Jekyll probably knows something isn't right, but with the lack of education or even acceptance of the mere existence of mental illness and trauma, he's probably been told his whole life to 'just get on with it', essentially. Poor bub.

Oof, yeah, I mean he definitely has had some dark days. Again, with the lack of knowledge in regards to mental health, he would be inclined to just force himself through it and on to the other side.

In my fic I wrote: 'There were days where his thoughts seemed to eat him alive, where the relentless pounding of his own heart would cause chest pains and exhaustion. It was on these days that dark thoughts would begin to surface, and he would throw himself into his work to evade them.'

The work proves a valuable distraction, until of course he begins to turn it into a process of finding a 'cure' for himself. Just as well he got away to the country when he did, I suppose.

Thanks for the ask! <3

[a-memory-a-distant-echo]

obligatory dear yulegoat letter

hello, beloved yuletide writer!

first and foremost: thank you so much for offering to write one of these weird little fandoms. i haven't done yuletide in many, many years, and am incredibly excited to get back to it.

i'm one of those people who overexplains, so this is lengthy, but really: i love these fandoms, and i read pretty broadly. i'm happy to read any length or rating, and am generally open to both porn and kink, exceptions in the dnws as aside. i love slice of life fics, casefic, character studies, plotty things, missing scenes, lengthy post-canon narratives—really, i just want another few minutes in these worlds, with these characters. if you already have ideas, you can skip the rest of this post and run with them—i want this to be fun for you, too.

if you do not have ideas, hopefully the rest of this will give you some. i'm looking forward to see where you go with it.

i think we're still meant to state if we're open to treats, so on the offchance that someone's browsing for that: yes, please, absolutely, are you kidding. two cakes?! oh boy!

everything else is under a cut for length. i suspect this is fairly comprehensive, but if you have questions, please don't hesitate to reach out through the mods; i'll be happy to clarify.

general likes:

devotion, especially when it's well past the point of reasonable, especially when it's unexpected/not taken for granted. i love it when people are deeply unhinged about each other. this is my single favourite thing, regardless of what the rest of the relationship is—a relationship doesn't have to be romantic to be about undying devotion.

characters who like and/or love each other, but still have complicated feelings about their relationship

casual intimacy and familiarity with each other

characters who show affection rather than speak it

mutual pining (resolving this is delightful, but certainly not required)

tenderness and moments of connection, especially when they're slightly incongruous—a moment of synchronicity in the middle of an argument, unexpected gentleness

realistic reactions and morals for the universe. for example, none of these characters (…assuming doomsday book fic is set during canon) would be distressed by encountering a stranger's dead body—death is too much a part of their lives to allow for that. similarly, any of them might disagree, for various reasons, that a child should be beaten 'instructively', but given the settings, i don't believe any of them would be shocked or traumatised by it, either.

characters who have Achieved Their Goal, whatever that was, but now have to figure out who they are without it

acknowledging (but please not focusing on) the physical effects of illness, injury, lifestyle, etc

three-person relationships, romantic or otherwise, where each of them is deeply attached the other two. they may have fundamentally different relationships, but they're of the same weight/importance, if that makes sense. i love a tripod, not a v.

the mortifying ordeal of being known leading to the rewards of being loved

vulnerable and/or tentative intimacy

characters who hadn't realised they were alone, or even lonely—but aren't anymore, and are unprepared for how strongly they feel about the person or people they're with. again, this doesn't have to be romantic.

relationships—friendly or sexual or romantic or whatever—where everyone involved is making an effort, even if they would deny it if asked. i have to admit that i do not love when one character is largely passive and sort of gets adored (or bullied) into a relationship, no effort required on their part.

characters who are willing to do the work for each other, basically. sometimes this is 'it's rotten work/not to me, not if it's you' and sometimes it's 'it's rotten work/i'll do it but christ alive'; the important part, for me, is that they'll do it, and do it willingly, even if they spend the entire time bitching about it.

actually, i have an entire (tag)[https://a-memory-a-distant-echo.tumblr.com/tagged/delicious%20tropes] about things i like

smut-specific likes:

i love sex that's actually about something else

i'm fine with kink, other than what's in the dnws, but would strongly prefer that it (including safewords) not be negotiated on the page

relative equality with regards to power dynamics, including penetration

awkward or imperfect sex that isn't played for humour

sex before love, or even liking

really, sex that's happening because the characters are interested in each other as people rather than because [character] is the most attractive person [other character] has ever seen.

specific stuff that tends to work for me: moderate overstimulation/overwhelm, adoration, gentle edging, rimming, bondage/restraints, coming untouched because they're so into what they're doing to someone else.

general do not wants, exceptions noted with fandoms:

hard-coded power dynamics (for example, 24/7 D/s relationships, strict top/bottom or D/s roles)

omegaverse or any related worldbuilding

scat or piss play

bestiality or animal play (puppyplay, etc)

non-canon sex/gender changes

issuefic (where a moral lesson of some kind is the main point)

therapyfic (where the focus is on characters recovering emotionally from some kind of trauma)

hard aus (where the setting is changed entirely—please, no coffee shops)

dramatic declarations of love

focus on a character's mental health/neurodivergence/physical disability in the sense that I'm not looking for fic that delves deeply into these matters; you're welcome to include it to the extent that it's included in canon, but please don't centre the entire fic on it

pregnancy (including mpreg), childbirth, or kidfic (regardless of how the children are attained)

kidfic—the other kind, where one or more characters are turned into children

injuries to teeth

crackfic or tooth-rotting fluff

ok. specific fandoms, and then we're done! this is so long. i'm so sorry.

mysterious lotus casebook

character exception: i'm interested in either the three of them together (romantically or devoted but avowedly non-romantically), or the di feisheng-fang duobing relationship, romantic or otherwise. if you're interested in the latter, it's fine if li lianhua's not included as a character.

this show completely ate my brain, and i have yet to recover from it. there are a lot of places you could take this that would totally delight me—i'm not a hard sell. i'm here for missing scenes, expanded scenes, canon divergence, explorations of what happens after canon, pwp (bonus points if there are also feelings), general jianghu shenanigans, hurt/comfort (a lot of bonus points if it's them mutually comforting each other, and/or if it's difang hurt/comfort), etc.

i'm aware some of this leans darker than canon, and that's fine. li lianhua can live (handwaved or not), or not, or be [status unknown], as needed for your vision. if general jianghu shenanigans includes sex pollen/accidental aphrodisiac/fuck or die/other vaguely dubcon scenario, that's fine. if your canon divergence or missing scenes have noncon, i'd prefer it not be the bulk of the fic, but that's also fine as long as the perpetrator isn't one of the main three.

the thing i would most like to avoid in this fandom is a third-wheel scenario where either dihua or fanghua are together (or not together romantically, but pair-bonded, for lack of a better term), and the third guy is…also there.

i'd thought i'd added this to my fandom-specific do not wants, but see that i lost the line when copying over. i know it's not an official dnw, but i'm asking here anyway: please don't give me possessiveness/jealousy from anyone.

additional (official) dnw for this fandom: character bashing, however mild. please don't describe di feisheng as demonic or evil; please don't have characters dismissively call or refer to fang duobing a brat or a kid. li lianhua gets less of this kind of treatment than the other two, but please be kind to him, as well, regardless of if he's a character in the fic or not. i feel strongly that by the end of canon, the three of them at least like and respect each other, and this sort of treatment is one of the fastest ways to undercut that for me.

heroes (2022)

ok, i'm going to be real with you: i haven't finished watching this. i know how it ends. i've known how it ends since i watched the first episode. and i just…haven't been able to bring myself to watch it happen, you know? so i said all this stuff at the start of this letter about complicated characters and messy feelings or whatever, but what i want more than anything else in this fandom is for even a single scene where even one of these precious, perfect, absolutely terrible children is content and no one is evil or dead. (evil or dead yet. i realise that it's very much a yet kind of situation. i just…don't want it to be.)

maybe next year i'll be ready to lean into some of the grimmer complexity, but right now, if you want to write tooth-rotting fluff for this fandom, if you want to pretend the show ended after episode eight and everyone was happy for maybe as many as several days, please do, and i'll thank you for it.

a little more seriously, you only have to include one of these characters—though i'd love it if there were more than one—and i'm not even asking that they be happy, just content. give me that one perfect moment before everything goes wrong, you know? (you are, of course, welcome to allude to the many terrible things that have happened to them, or give hints of the terrible things that are waiting the as soon as this moment is over, but i would prefer that those not be the focus of things.)

i'll honestly be happy with almost anything here. give me su mengzhen and lei chun sitting together quietly for an hour. give me bai choufei performatively annoyed but quietly charmed by sleeping wang xiaoshi, known human starfish. give me wen rou and su mengzhen hanging out. give me all four of them having a drink. give me a weird little sex scene with the characters of your choice. give me wang xiaoshi watching the rain. find (or imagine) the slimmest moment of peace and expand on it, or simply spend a thousand words dwelling on the seven seconds that it existed on screen.

look at these precious children. i sure hope nothing bad happens to them. 😭😭😭

additional dnw for this fandom:

character death

…misery and the part where everything goes terrible. i know what this show is, but i'm begging you: if you're writing this, please, give me even a single scene where even one of these characters is content and no one is dead

oxford time travel universe

oh, kivrin, my beloved. the doomsday book, and kivrin in particular, has had my heart since i first read it probably twenty years ago. i said in my signup that you could give me a thousand words of kivrin tending agnes, or mending clothes, or being unsettled by the softness of her modern bed after she returns, or honestly almost anything, and i would be happy, and that's entirely true.

you're welcome to bring in other characters—i love all of them—but you don't have to. if you want to explore kivrin's relationship with almost anyone—father roche, dunworthy, maisry, either of the children (especially rosemund), colin, or whomever, i would be delighted to read it. if you want to explore the cognitive dissonance of her arrival and the somewhat unexpected setting in which she finds herself, or her feelings when she can't get to the drop site, go right ahead. if you want her back in the present and feeling isolated by the fact that everyone has just experienced a plague, but what she experienced was very, very different to what everyone else did, i'm also interested in that. really, i don't think you can go wrong here.

given the topics of the novel and the global events of the last four years, i do feel that i should explicitly state that it's absolutely fine for you to lean into the plague aspects of it if you feel inclined to do so. i mean, please do not create an au where she goes to 2020 instead of 1348, but i will not find explicit discussions of illness, plague, pandemic, and death in either 1348 or 2054 upsetting or offputting.

i think that most people sign up for this fandom hoping to get ned and verity, and if that's the case for you, i'm sorry; if you need to reach for a lighter tone to get through this, please feel free to do so.

additional dnw for this fandom: please don't give me smut for this one.

[voidselfshipp]

Bloom in the Forgelands

Cw: injury mention.

>only mutuals allowed to reblog.

Summary:Muria the shaman,gets a visit of her beloved crush Jerico,Lady of secrets.

A/n: I freaking love her.

Muria stood there,Leaning on her staff and looking longinly to the Beauty of tri-stone. Magic flowed from her to replace her covered eyes, she smiles warmly as spring settles in.

Full Bloom across the forgelands is a beautiful sight to behold, she breathes in the still cool air and exhales as peace settles in her chest. Pollen and dust werent much of a bother to her,after all she grew herbs and medicinal flowers. But that could be said to poor Karn,who every spring has the worst allergies.

But its not that which breaks her from her pensive moment. No its a screech coming from her right, she turns as a female voice screeches-- MuuuuRIIIAAAAAAA!

She chuckles,shaking her head with endearment as her eyes fixate on the murder of crows that come flying at her at full speed. Its a mess of beaks,talons,feathers and dull green eyes.

They all gather on the floor and with a flash of Teal light there before her stands Jerico,Lady of secrets and child of the crowfather.

--Ah,always a lovely sight, Lady of secrets-- Said the chaman, turning to face them. She smiles and continues-- What brings you to the forgelands?

--Brought what you asked me-...What you asked Death to bring you--They explained,walking towards her while singing off their satchel that clinks with a myriad of things-- Frigid Dew from the Icy veil, Death Beetle Bones from the land of the dead, water from the drenchfort And...--They look up at the maker,seeing as her kind are very tall, and smiles shyly--I mean...death just wanted me to drop off the items...

Unconvinced,the maker tilts her head to see the fresh bandages that barely peeked from underneath the leather armor and feather and silk clothes of the person before her.

--You went yourself and picked them up...--She concluded.--How did you get the list from the pale rider?

--Tried asking,insisted,didnt work. Soooo I stole it, and he didnt even notice

--Heh. If anyone were to outwit a horseman,it would be you,Lady.-- Muria said,taking the satchel and putting it on--But I do believe I owe you a healing potion...

--Muria,its alright..

--I wouldnt forgive myself if I didnt pay you back,Lady. Your time is precious,just as you are

Jerico smiles sheepishly--Ah shucks...fine. fine..

The shaman grins--I believe I have some healing potions in my cabin,Perhaps you can stay for tea? Its almost time anyway

--Su-sure,thanks Muria...

Muria shook her head and gestured towards the set of stairs that lead down Tri-Forge and into Stonefather's valley--Shall we?

--We shall

In quiet chatter they walk down the Valley towards the cabin of the shaman, mundane talks about their lives in their respective realms. The spring sun is pleaseant on their skin,leaves blow by and ever so slowly flowers Bloom into being.

Eventually they make it to the shaman's cabin,cozy and ridiculously overgrown with herbs,plants and fruit trees. There are ponds that illuminate with a dull blue glow and theres stone pillars with carvings that also glow,but what jeri likes the most is the makeshift scarecrows. Theyre rudimentary In a charming way,crudely carved out of stone.

They walk down a small path,up the stairs and into the porch of the cabin,covered in moss and mushrooms. Then,Muria unlocks the door and lets them both in.

Within the cabin it smells like incense and a faint wet dirt scent,the fire crackles with an Orange glow and theres all manner of half done proyects from potions to amulets.

--Ill get you that potion,and then the tea--Muria commented,closing the door behind her as she stepped in.

--Sure thing, ill..ill go sit

--Feel right at home,Lady--The shaman said with a smile, before walking up the set of stairs that led to the second floor. They figured thats where her room and workshop was, and after that they go sit on the couch near the Fire.

Its a pleasing warmth,that has jerico sitting with their knees up to their chest and curling into a ball. They let out a pleased squak and the feathers in their outfit fluff up until they just look round.

Soon after Muria comes back with the potion,she drinks it happily and then the shaman does a gesture with her hand,a bit of blue energy flashes and then both hear the soft clinking And clattering of moving cutlery And utensils.

--Let me check those bandages,the potion should help regardless...--the maker extended her hands and the Lady of secrets shuffled closer,peeling off their armor until theyre only in their clothes.

Her companion is gentle as she unwraps the bandages,she sees the bruises and cuts heal up all around their arms, where the skin has thisdark purple ink . Theyre runes, much like the ones the Crowfather has tatooed on, and when theyre all complete they emanate a soft,almost unhearable humm,and a gentle purple glow.

--All healed up-- Said the shaman,before turning to the heavy bandage on the person's leg.

--Yeah..that one's tricky. My dad took care of it but...--They trail off as the maker rummages around her Many bags on her and goes to look for a mortar and some New bandages.--Its alright...

But the woman doesnt seem to hear her and when she has everything she needs, she begins to grind up herbs and plants,muttering some sort of incantation.

Soon after,Jerico has their leg bandages unwrapped and this green mixture applied upon the large gnash on their skin,she lets out a whinge At the sharp pain upon contact. Muria puts her hand on it,a lot more careful now,and with blue energy, the cut gets Mended bit by bit until its gone and the green mixture is nothing but ash that gets blown away.

Blue glyphs begin to burn themselves around the Lady's leg,they make up a Word "Haste". And then they go just a little Darker with a faint,faint glow of blue. Not blue like maker magic,but of ancient,ancient Power.

--You didnt need to--Is the phrase the Lady of secrets find themself saying more than ever.

--Nonsense,im merely repaying a favor--Muria insisted, taking her spot beside them once again--And I do believe its time for tea

A boiling kettle of Maker craftmanship and a few cups float with whisps of blue,setting on the coffee table before them. Then,a few pastries follow and settle down as well.

For the rest of the afternoon,both Just talk and hang out. Sharing anecdotes, silly jokes, tales of adventure and mundane stories of the every day. It was always nice to spend time with the Lady of secrets, warm as the sun and fresh as the Ocean,her enthusiasm And light were something the shaman really did love about them.

She had been...crushing on them for a few good years Now,it makes her blush just to think about how silly it is that she hasnt said anything about It. The feeling is clearly mutual but she never found the words to say it, she just hoped her actions talked louder.

And she also appreciates how cuddly they are,for she loves having them lay upon her chest while she hugs her waist with a gentle grip. For a being of the icy veil,Jerico was a walking heater and the shaman could use the extra warmth and the joy that she feels just existing in their vecinity is enough to make her chest Bloom with warmth like spring does with the flowers.

But eventually the sun does begin to set,the moon brings darkness and soon Jerico ought to leave. Not before Muria helps her put on all her armor,the close proximity making them both get just a little giddy with loving delight.

--Its a shame you must leave--Said the shaman as her beloved stands at the door.

--I can come by in a few days,i'd like to spend More time with you-- the Lady answered,a little sheepish but happy.

--I...I would love that--muria admitted with a warm smile that quickly Fades as her companion steps closer,standing on the tip of their toes to press a sweet kiss upon her lips.

She kissed back,hugging her waist Gently and leaning into their face. Soft,brief and chaste,both share just a moment of intimacy before they part to end their day in different ways.

When they pull back, Jerico smiles and goes to adjust the cloth around the maker's eyes,and slowly breaks the hug.

--Goodnight,Muria

--Goodnight,Jerico

When the Lady of secrets exits the porch,she becomes that cloud of beaks,talons And feathers with those dull green eyes glimmering with an unsettling Beauty underneath the moonlight that begins to replace the ochre light of the sun.

And with their departure, Muria finds herself missing her heart,for her beloved had taken it amongs their wings and held it within her claws with gentleness unrivaled. She finds herself staring longingly once more,but not towards the spring settled upon the forgelands...

But upon the purple Mass that flies towards the tree of life,back to the icy veil...

Still she worries,hoping her beloved gets there safe,that the cold doesnt bite at their skin and that her food is warm and tasty...

[lick-me-lennon22]

George caring for a sick Dhani 💜

(thank you to @pmak2002 for this request!! it was supposed to be just a blurb but I did a little research beforehand and it ended up pretty much becoming a whole fic 😅 oops... either way, I hope you enjoy this one! 💕)

When Dhani wakes up for school on Monday morning, he immediately knows something his wrong. His throat is sore, his nose is runny, and his muscles ache like nothing he's felt before. He painstakingly drags himself out of bed, clutching the sheet around him, and heads straight to his parents' bedroom where he finds his mum Olivia still in bed. Dhani notices that the bathroom door is cracked open and cautiously steps inside to find his father, George, brushing his teeth. "Dad..?" he says quietly, voice hoarse. George startles, turning around to see Dhani in his unfortunate state and spits his mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, letting the water wash it down the drain before turning the tap off. "What is it, my boy? You sound bloody awful..," he gently presses the back of his hand to Dhani's forehead to assess his temperature. "You seem to be running quite the fever, son- let's get you to the doctor, all right? Just let me finish up in here and I'll be right out to take ye" George says. Dhani nods weakly, coughing into his elbow, and shuffles out of the room. George jumps into action- he swishes and spits some mouthwash, changes out of his sleepwear into a button-up and jeans, and sprints to the car, his son following close behind him and hopping into the passenger's seat.

 

"This is ridiculous.." George mutters under his breath as he walks his son out of the clinic and gets into the driver's seat of his car. They had been able to see the doctor almost instantly upon arriving; he had taken some swabs, run a few tests, and determined that Dhani had contracted the flu: "He probably picked it up from school," the doc had said. When George had requested a prescription of some kind to alleviate his son's symptoms, the doctor simply shook his head: "I'm afraid there isn't much we can do for him. The flu's been going around at many schools, I've seen a lot of children this past week with the same complaints. As it stands, all I can tell you is to give him some over-the-counter medicine, bring him some saltwater to gargle for that sore throat, and be sure he gets plenty of fluids and bedrest." George tried to argue, stating that there must be something he can do to cure Dhani of his illness sooner- but as the doc's hands were tied and George didn't want to subject his son to more stress, he took Dhani by the hand and led him out of the office, through the lobby, and back to the car. "Alright, my boy," George sighs- "seeing that the doctor was no help whatsoever, we're headed straight to the drugstore for anything that'll help you feel better. Sound good?"

"Yeah Dad, sounds good" Dhani croaks out and smiles weakly, glad just to spend some time with his father. Being a famous musician and all, George isnt able to spend as much time with his son as he'd like to, a lot of it consumed by work and media-related endeavors. Dhani admired his Dad more than anyone else in his life and though they rarely got the chance to hang out nowadays, they were practically best friends and had formed a close bond throughout his childhood. George was always a fun parent, bringing his son along to festivals and such ("Don't tell yer mum," he'd say with a grin), and sticking up for Dhani to authority figures and even other kids at his school- he was fiercely protective of his boy. However, he was also a gentle parent who allowed Dhani the chance to explore and express himself, and had fostered a mutual respect between the two of them since his son was but a toddler.

"I'm pulling you from school for the whole week" "But what if I'm- *cough*- all better before then?" "Just in case, Dhani- it's not like you really need them and their indoctrination, anyway.." George grumbles, never having been a fan of traditional schools or their teachings. Dhani however has always cared about his grades and paid close attention to the lessons he's been taught, in spite of what his father thinks. "...Okay, Dad" he says meekly, wanting to protest but unwilling to sacrifice more quality time with his famous father. George pulls into the parking lot of the nearest drugstore and marches in, intent on gathering all the supplies his sick boy could need: tissues, lozenges, cough syrup, pain medication, ice packs, and even more tissues- 'just in case.' He makes his way to the checkout, queuing up, paying for the items and hauling his bags back to the car. He drives Dhani home as quickly as possible, carrying him to bed and tucking him in before calling and cancelling any studio time, interviews, or collaborations he'd previously planned. There's only one committment he can't cancel- dinner with Paul tonight for the first time in ages. George sets his son up with all of the remedies he'd bought and tells his wife Olivia everything about the situation, including the "unhelpful and useless" doctor they had gone to see. She of course agrees to care for Dhani, sending her husband on his way to dinner with one of his long-time best friends.

 

The following day George rises just before noon, having stayed up late to pal around with Macca. He runs the few errands on his agenda, including grabbing his family some lunch, and pulls into his driveway back home where he spots the vehicle of none other than Richard Starkey parked outside. He makes his way to his son's room to discover that Uncle Ringo had come to visit the sick young lad (having found out from Paul that Dhani had come down with a bad case of the flu), joking and cheering him up to distract him from his poor state. The two close friends chat for some time in the living room before Ritchie departs, Olivia checking up on Dhani in the meantime. George thanks his wife and dismisses her from her nurse duties, taking on the responsibility himself. He tiptoes to his son's bedroom cautiously and enterd to see that he's been tucked in, the ice pack George had picked up from the store the previous day resting on his forehead, half-lidded eyes trained onto the telly. "Dhani..?" "Oh- *cough*- hey, Dad"

George approaches the bed and sits down carefully, holding a paper bag out to Dhani. "I brought you a burrito- your favorite," he grins down at his son, who takes the bag: "Really? *cough*- Thanks Dad, you're the best!" he says, hands emerging from the blankets to tear into the treat. George stays sat on the bed, determined to spend time with his sick boy and make sure he knows how loved he is. Glancing around the room at the piano and guitars he's bought and played with Dhani, then back to the young man, Ringo's words from earlier echo in his mind: "He's growing up into such a wonderful lad. He's just like you, ye know- good looks and all."

Olivia had always said they were very alike, but he'd usually dismissed the observation... until now. George couldn't help but realize that they were right- though he was but eleven years old Dhani was already becoming a very talented and creative musician, having learned much about music from his dad. He'd certainly taken after his Beatle father in that regard, and they were in fact very similar- not to mention their near identical looks. Sharing his Dad with the world had been difficult and a bit isolating for Dhani despite his many school mates. He admired and looked up to George from a very young age, always striving to be just like him. As Dhani grew up before George's eyes, he became more and more like his father by the day and George was immensely proud.

His train of thought was broken suddenly when Dhani finished the burrito, crumpling the paper bag and tossing it into the bin. He landed the throw, earning a hearty laugh and a high five from his father. He closed his eyes and laid back, George stroking his hair gently, the two of them cherishing this moment of father-son love. "Are you gettin' sleepy, Dhani?" he asked tenderly- his son nodded in response, already drowsy despite the brightness of the late afternoon sun. "Tell you what- I'll play you a lullaby, that way you can rest easier and know that I'm here beside you." "Dad," Dhani chuckled, "aren't I a little too old for that?" he lied, secretly longing for the affectionate gesture. George grabbed his son's acoustic guitar from its stand and begin to tune it: "You're never too old for yer old man's love and attention, eh? Now you just relax, close your eyes, and rest." Dhani didn't protest any further, heeding his father's instructions with a soft smile on his face. With that, George began to play- he chose "Here Comes The Sun," fingers strumming the strings gently and with care, dedicating the sweet words to his beloved son. By the time he was finished Dhani was fast asleep- grin faltering as he drifted off, but still visible on his lips. George placed the guitar back on the stand gently, taking care not to wake the sleeping lad. He smiled to himself, tears welling in his eyes as he turned to admire his son's peaceful face. "I love you, my boy," he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on Dhani's forehead before tip-toeing out of the room and shutting the door cautiously. Back pressed against the wooden door, George let his eyelids fall shut and sighed: "Sweet dreams, Dhani." ♡

[witchofinterest]

It’s my birthday! well, i’m making this post in advance, but i’m gonna post it on my birthday! i haven’t liked my birthday in years, but i love you all, so let’s talk about it!!! okays, it’s today! god, i love you all so much, and you’ve all given me a real sense of belonging and i wanna say thank you again! and if i somehow missed you, know i love you too, i just have a bad memory.

@foxesandmagic hey birthday twin!! yiu have lovely and you are so so nice i love any chance to converse with you!

@twinmasks you were the first person i was really friends with on here, and a big part of me feeling welcome in the community and i think you should know that! also, you are just so cool and talented, and i am always in awe of everything you say and make!

@nolanhollogay water sign besties! i adore you, it feels like we’ve been friends for 20 years allready! i hope we are friends for a lot longer, also you are one of the best people i know, and i want you to know that!!!!

@luucypevensie grace you are the sweetest girl ever!!!!!! ever!!!! you are sunshine in human form!! i love you so much!!! 💛💛💛

@whindsor hey nich!!!! i love you so much, you’re an excellent and amazing friend, and i adore you beyond words!!! god, i love you so much and i am so so proud of you, from your consistent updates to finishing your story!!!!! you put so much into life, and yiu deserve nothing but the best back!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@kazinejghafa keke my beloved!!!! you are like, a real life disney princess! i mean, birds should follow you around if they allready don’t! i love you! you always make me feel like: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💛💚❤️💛💙💛❤️🧡💛💚💚🧡🧡🧡🧡❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@ocfairygodmother you absolutely live up to your name! you are the backbone of this community and i couldn’t be more grateful to have you as a friend!!!

@anotherunreadblog you are the mutual!!! you are so nice, sweet, cool, talented, cultured, and i could keep going on forever! love you!! 💙

@darknightfrombeyond you are the cool, slightly intimidating because their so good, mutual!!! you are also one of my sweetest mutuals, with the coolest updates! you’ve got it all! love you! ^ _ ^

@water-writings hey mel!!!!! you are so sweet and supportive to everyone and your are so talented too and i love you!! and i am so happy your at a better job now!!!!! 💙

@elenapetrova hey tessa!!! god, we’ve been friends for so long now! this is the second birthday i’ve been your friend and i hope many more to come!!! you are so strong and so good and so so amazing!!! i love you a lot and i hope you know that!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@taylorswiftrulestheworld heather! we just started talking, but your really sweet and talented and i had to include you!!

@perhapspearl pearl!! hello friend!!! i love whenever you rb things, and wow your writing is so good, regardless of whether it’s for your wonderful ocs or canon! and you have a gift for gifs too!! you are wonderful and talented!!

@richitozier hey mara!!!! you are so cool and you have such good taste in like, everything, and you are so fun to interact with!!!! love you!! ❤️

@lizziesxltzmxn hey Ali!!!!! you are a beloved mutual and i love talking to you and i love when you update about the things your watching/reading/etc, bc i always love to hear your thoughts on things!!!!

@starcrossedjedis hey sara!!!!!!! you are one of my favorite people ever, and even if your going through a rough time right now, your still the best, and ill always believe in you! love you a lot!!

@aceyanaheim hey acey!!!! you have the coolest ideas and i am so excited whenever i see you in my notifications and on my dash!!!! i love you!!!

@wokenhardies hey Siobhan!!! taking with you is a treasure!!!!! in fact, your a treasure!!!! i love you a lot!!!

@squirrelstone Squirrel!!! my cherished friend!!! i love you and all of your creations so so much!!!!!!! also, you are just the best!!!!!! this site wouldn’t be the same without you in it and i am so glad your here!!!

@alghulnyssa hello Flop! you probably didn’t know many others on this list, but we’re buddies and i wanted to put you here! you have the best taste in so many things! and the prettiest edits!!! your last nyssa one lives rent free in my head! and you are part of the reason i made this blog! also, i am gonna to try to be on instagram more, im sorry.

@randomestfandoms-ocs hey maddie!!! ah, you are such a good friend and i love you so much!!!!!!!!!!! you are the sweetest and super talented!!! ❤️❤️💖💖💖💜💜💜💜💜

@iron-parkr hey Rory!!!!! i am super proud of you and how you handle all your responsibilities!!! all of your stories you have out are so good and i love them all! and even more, i love you!!!!

@myoc-eansmind hey sof!!!!!!!! we haven’t been friends for too long, but you are such a good one and i love you!!!! also, you are just the sweetest!

@nightwingshero hey jodeci!!!!! your writing is so so good!!!! and i love your ocs, they have such cool and unique storylines!!! also, you are so nice and cool!!!!!!! :)

@ceruleanmusings mack!!!!! hello friend!!!!! i swear, reading anything you write is an absolute privilege i’m glad you allow!!! also, talking to yiu is always a highlight of my day!!! 💙💙💙

@raging-violets hey Ri!! Hey Rhu!!! god i love you both so so much!!!!!! from bonding over to shared interests to learning about things like narnia! being your friend is so so good!!! riley i admire your confidence in life! rhuben i admire your ability to never give up! and i love both of you so much!!!

@ben-bcrnes hey becca!!! you are so passionate about so many things and i love seeing you on my dash!!! ❤️❤️❤️

@stanshollaand hey!!! your blog and your ocs are so so cool, and even there only half as cool as you are!!! i hope to interact more in the future bc your awesome!!!

@cecesxwickedxocs hey cece!!! you are one of the most creative people i know!!!!!!! also, i love hearing about how your days going and your interests!!!

@fiercefray rachel my beloved!!!! i love you so so much!!!!!! you always come up with the coolest stuff for your ocs, and you have so many awesome interests!!!! and behind that, i just really love you a lot!!!!

@inkoutsidethelines ink!!!! hey buddy!!!!!!!!!!! you are so so amazing!!!! i love learning about you and your ocs and i hope to more!!!!

@padmeisqueen aaron!!!!!! we don’t talk a lot and i hope to change that, but from what i know you are super sweet and nice and make the prettiest aesthetics!!!!!

@the-october-reviewer hey ash!!! it’s been a minute, but if course you’d be on this post!!!! we’ve been friends for about 2 years now, if i’ve done my math correctly, and it’s been amazing!!!!! i love you so much, and i always love hearing about what’s caught your eye!

@pock-galliard sairaid!!! you are so cool and i love seeing all your posts on my dash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@codenamekryptonite V!!!!! hey, love. it’s been a minute since we’ve talked, but i love you so so much, so i had to our you in this post!!!!!! you are such a good person and i love you and your ideas so so much!!!!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

@superspookyjanelle hey janelle!!! you put out so much quality content and i admire you so much for it!!!!

@ofbadcharacters hey gabbie!! idk if you still check your blog, but i love and miss you, and you made me feel so welcome last year, i had to include you in this post!! you are such a good friend and i really miss you! love you! ❤️

@phoebestarks hey phia!!!!!! you have the best, super intricate plots and i am constantly in awe!!!! also, you are so nice to converse with!!!

@whctsherncme-archive hey madi! you de-activated, bir i love you and you belong on this list!!!! you were such a good friend with the best ideas and i miss talking to you, and you, so much!

@mystic-scripture gwen!!!! it’s been a minute since we’ve talked, but we’re friends!!!!! i love you and your ocs so much! you always knock it out of the park from the mcgrath clan to alex!!!!! your so good!!!!

@avengiers hey ari!!!!!!!! you are so so cool, and everything you make is so so pretty, and i just wanted to tell you that!

@shanaoharas hey dylan! you stopped using this account, but i wanted to include this bc we were good friends! and i have been meaning to catch up on your excellent stories! love you a lot!!!!

@cassercole hey lizzie, you are no longer with us, but i didn’t manage to make this post when you were like i meant to, so I wanted to add you. you were the first oc creator i followed (first account, actually) and you always made me so welcome in everything! you introduced me to so many things i love and i really miss you.

[kiki-shortsnout]

For intimacy prompts: #17 laying your head on someone’s shoulder for Frostiron! 💚❤️ Thanks!

I'm back!!! Sorry it's taken so long, but I'm back to answer my prompts! Thank you so much for this one! I enjoyed writing this!

***

Loki stumbled as the Bifrost set them both down, too exhausted to shake off Thor’s steadying hand on his elbow, his brother’s own exhaustion evident in the slump of his shoulders. Loki had no strength left in him to make a jest about Thor’s overprotective tendencies, instead looking around the Midgardian cityscape he’d come to think of as a second home, his limbs limp.

Part of his atonement for his war crimes was to take a more active role in defense of the planet he sought to enslave. His mother and brother’s pleas not to imprison him swaying his father from a harsher sentence. He was a…tolerated member of the Avengers, a proverbial thorn in the side for most. He’d formed a tentative, begrudging respect towards the Black Widow, but he was a constant source of irritation for the rest of them.

Well, someone needed to keep the Avengers on their toes.

Loki was still called upon to keep Asgard and the realms it protected safe, and that was where he and Thor had been, subduing marauders on Vanaheim, listening to whispers of an event called a Convergence was impending, a cataclysmic occurrence that had them all on edge.

It felt as though his very bones rattled as he trudged across the roof of the Avengers Tower beside Thor, like his skin was stretched too taut over the excruciating ache of his muscles. As they came into the hanger, they both looked around, used to having at least one member of the Avengers greet them after their excursions off world.

Despite being used to being treated with distrust and trepidation, the bitter sting of their rebuke still penetrated the fatigued miasma clouding Loki’s brain.

He’d managed to convince one Midgardian that he was not the nemesis that all perceived him to be, that it was an illusion he portrayed to hide the crippling weakness he felt. This one Midgardian had seen through Thanos’s manipulations of his mind, had shattered the deception he shrouded himself in. It was Anthony he looked around for now, bewildered as he was met with nothing but silence, not even JARVIS speaking to them.

‘Is Earth under attack?’ Thor questioned, wiping the grime from his eyes as he frowned, moving towards one of the huge windows. Loki reformed his daggers as he took a step forward, ears straining to hear, his body sluggish and unwilling to cooperate.

The door at the far end of the room creaked open, and Loki teleported beside it in an instant, flinging it open and pointing his dagger at their enemy.

‘Pepper?’ Lowering his dagger, he immediately noticed she looked as tired, if not more so than the both of them. Her usually glossy hair was dull and frazzled, wisping around her face in auburn tufts, her eyes encircled with grey smudges.

‘What has happened?’ he asked, his words curt despite how he’d promised Anthony he would respect this mortal. It was an easy promise to keep, treating the two people Anthony treasured above all with care. Loki genuinely liked Pepper, her attitude, her bravery, her fiery temper. He and Rhodes tolerated each other, their mutual like for Anthony the only thing stopping them from attacking each other, settling instead for snide comments.

‘It’s Tony, he…he’s been really sick, Loki,’ Pepper gasped, her lower lip trembling as she swayed into him.

‘Where is he?’ Loki demanded, catching her by her shoulders. It was as though his body had been invigorated with lust for battle, any fatigue he’d felt moments ago burned away. Instead of the adrenaline he usually felt under such circumstances, his body felt cold, terror seeping down the back of his throat, stroking its clammy fingers across his skin.

Why wasn’t I here?

‘He’s in his room now-’

‘Where was he before?’ Thor asked before Loki could even put words to the thoughts scattering in his mind, the guilt webbing in his lungs, tugging at him with every breath.

‘The medical bay downstairs…JARVIS has the most extensive anatomy files because of the arc reactor and-’

‘Thor, look after her for me,’ Loki ordered, teleporting away despite them calling after him.

Anthony was huddled in his bed, the numerous blankets piled on him quivering as he trembled. The sickly scent spiraling in tendrils through the air made Loki recoil. This…was not something he was comfortable with. He’d never cared about another enough to warrant any actions of concern from him, had never been able to see past his own arrogance and selfishness to consider others.

‘An…Tony?’ he called, scared at what he was going to find, at how sick his mortal was. He’d seen Tony sick before, seen him with what they called a cold, all snuffy nosed and demanding and clingy. This silent, still, Anthony frightened him. What ailed him so? What illness had made Pepper look like a shadow of herself? Why had he needed to go down to the medical bay? Loki had seen Anthony after a battle, had seen him spit venom at any who dared suggest he seek medical help when he was injured, only allowing Loki to tend to his wounds hours later when the pain had grown too much to bear. Even then, he’d pretended it was for his own sake, that he was the one who couldn’t bear to see Anthony in pain.

He took a step backwards, wanting to flee, wanting to escape the fear plucking at him. He’d been in countless battles, fought with odds against him, had stood and waited for punishment by his father. This, seeing someone he had grown to care about like this…why was this affecting him so?

Anthony had reached out a hand in friendship despite all the atrocities he had committed in both Midgard and Jotunheim, the countless lives he had taken and lasting repercussions, Anthony Stark had given him a home, a means to make penance for those he had wronged. He hadn’t forgiven him, not straight away, that had taken time and trust to develop between them.

It was that belief in him, an emotion that so few beings were unwilling to extend to him which made Loki fall in love with the Midgardian, a feeling he had not given life with his words yet. It was this unnamed feeling which made him shove all his selfish fears aside.

Anthony needed him.

‘Anthony?’ he called again, peeling back the covers, his breath hitching at the sheer heat radiating from the man.

‘Hey,’ his voice cracked, his lungs rattling as he drew in a breath, hands tightening from where they were wrapped around himself in a pitiful hug.

‘What…what happened, should you even be here?’ Loki asked, dropping to his knees by the side of the bed, his hands hovering over Anthony’s body, uncertain, scared to touch this fragile creature.

Anthony rolled over in bed, and Loki was horrified at the sunken look to his skin, the waxy grey pallor, the red-rimmed eyes.

‘Oh, beloved,’ Loki breathed out, his hand stroking through clumped together hair.

‘Not a pretty sight,’ Anthony wheezed out. ‘You should’ve seen me a few weeks ago.’

Weeks? He’d left him behind in a worse condition than this for weeks?

‘How did your health deteriorate so fast? You weren’t in this condition when I…’ Loki’s eyes narrowed when Anthony’s gaze dropped, one of his tells when he wasn’t telling the entire truth. ‘You were ill when I left.’ Loki didn’t phrase it as a question.

‘Honestly, Lokes, don’t-’ Anthony’s protest was cut off with a wracking cough, the sheer force of it scaring Loki, sweeping aside whatever anger that had been beginning to build a few moments ago.

‘Why did you not tell me? If I had known-’

‘Thor needed you,’ Anthony said weakly, sagging back into his pillow. ‘Besides, this isn’t…this isn’t what we do.’ He closed his eyes as if the mere act of breathing pained him.

He was correct in his assumptions. They laughed, talked, had sex…keeping everything light and frothy and pleasurable, avoiding anything that encompassed feelings, vulnerabilities, neither wanting to be beholden to the other. It was a foolish act on Loki’s behalf, wanting to keep a distance from attachments, fearful of what Anthony could mean to him.

‘Move aside,’ Loki commanded, shrugging off his cape and unfastening his arm bracers.

‘Loki, what?’

‘Unless me joining you is going to impede your recovery in any way?’ Loki hesitated, suppressing his smirk at Anthony’s interested, fatigued gaze on his now naked torso. Lying beside his mortal, Loki gathered him in his arms, arranging them so he was on his back, Anthony half on top of him, his head on his shoulder.

‘Listen to me,’ Loki whispered, the words delicate, but infused with such meaning that it made them hang thickly between them. This was a precipice on which he stood, a moment he had read about in countless epic sagas. The hero baring the depths of their love after a heroic deed, or a noble act of self-sacrifice… not holding a sickly mortal. ‘I am not…not very good at this,’ Loki finished, his voice trailing off pathetically.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,’ Anthony said instead, wriggling his body closer, enjoying the cooler feel of Loki’s skin. ‘I’m a shitty patient, and I didn’t want you to see me like this.’

That Loki could understand. Only his mother dared to face his wrath when he had been sick, her gentle hands and calming voice the only things he would tolerate. But there was a deeper meaning behind Anthony’s reasoning too, the unwillingness to reveal a weakness, the fear of being abandoned.

‘I am not angry you did not tell me. I am infuriated with myself for not recognizing the signs of your ailment, of leaving you behind for such a long period of time when I know you do not like seeking help.’

‘Then what-’

Loki clutched his mortal closer, resting one hand on his brow to both to measure Anthony’s temperature and to cool him down.

‘I have never felt this way towards another being, mortal or not. I am sorry that you felt as though you could not tell me you were unwell, that I acted as though my intentions towards you were not serious. You plague my waking thoughts, my unconscious dreams, beloved, there is none I would rather be with.’

Rather than receiving a heartfelt confirmation of Anthony’s own feelings, the mortal stiffened in his grip, his rattling breathing halting. Fearful his illness had gotten worse, Loki rose a little from his waist so he could look down, confused at the angry frown Anthony was displaying.

‘Anthony-’

‘This is going to keep happening,’ he interrupted with a snap. ‘My insides are completely wrecked, my lungs, heart… Christ my liver…they’re all damaged and I’m not as young as I once was. I don’t know about you, but this is a wakeup call for why we shouldn’t be fooling around…let alone catching feelings for me.’

‘It is not for you to tell me my feelings are wrong,’ Loki admonished gently.

‘Loki, look at me. I’m a mess. I got a simple cold and it morphed into pneumonia. I might be out of the medical bay, but it’ll take weeks to-’

‘More of a mess than I am? Loki, the God of Mischief who manipulated my brother into going to war with my birth world, who allowed myself to be manipulated by Thanos-’

‘Loki you were tortured…’

‘And I threw you from a window, killed innocent people.’

Anthony didn’t answer that.

‘I know my actions of New York were not wholly my own, that I agreed to invade under duress, that my thoughts were not my own. Anthony, those thoughts were not just placed there by Thanos. I had always regarded Midgard as a lesser race. Those emotions might have been warped and heightened, but they were my own. I tricked my brother into a war against Jotunheim because I was jealous of the attention my father bestowed on him. These are not trivial things to be forgiven. They are sins I will atone for the rest of my life, and still, you found a way to love me.’

Anthony’s breathing hitched, turning into a cough, and Loki ran a comforting hand over his back to calm him.

‘I care not if your body is injured, that you are more susceptible to illness. It does not make you weaker in my mind, it highlights the battles you have endured, the strength it takes for you to continue living,’ Loki told him, lifting a hand to place it over Anthony’s arc reactor, protecting it. Despite his earlier fears earlier, the words he spoke were the truth, and it pained him that he had waited so long to tell him.

Even as he held his sick mortal close, wishing he could create a spell to eradicate any vestiges of this illness, Loki was plotting. He wouldn’t let Anthony be snatched from him by something trivial like time or illness. Technically he needed his father’s permission for his plan, but he knew his mother would see his way of thinking, would be happy he had found another to share his life with.

‘Feels like you’ve been shortchanged here,’ Anthony grumbled, settling his head back down against his shoulder.

‘I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds like you are degrading yourself after I’ve confessed my feelings for you. This is meant to be a momentous occasion and-’

He laughed as Anthony silenced him with a hand over his mouth.

‘Alright, alright, you’re lucky, I’m a peach, I get it.’ Anthony burrowed closer, his sweat-slick hands wrapping around Loki’s middle.

‘Next time, promise me you will tell me if you are feeling unwell.’

‘You had to go- ‘

‘Nothing is more important to me than you. Father and Thor can protect Asgard. We have an army for that reason. I will always fight for Asgard, for its people, but not if you need me.’

Anthony squeezed him close, his legs twitching as he drew closer to sleep.

‘Thank you.’ Loki felt the words formed against his skin rather than hearing them, and he smiled, holding Anthony closer.

‘I love you too,’ he whispered when he was moments from sleep, and Loki didn’t respond, knowing his beloved needed rest, that he would be here to watch over him while he slept.

[literaturebf]

Tag 10 mutuals or however many and describe on what you like about them!

ooh omg okay! im doing only 10 mutuals if ur not here pls don't be offended it's nothing personal <3

@stardstgf u guys know!! chloe my best friend amazingly talented writer the mutual i would analyze media with all the time if i could <3 i have deliberately ruined my sleep schedule for them on multiple occasions because our time differences are insane so. true friendship i love u an insane amount

@venka aashna my beloved one of the funniest and kindest people i know fr. they are literally a celebrity btw if u don't believe me that's on you. such a cool blog 10/10 personality and also amazing taste in books love you bestie

@loveyouforl000years CLEO‼ one of my oldest mutuals and the mutual who stuck around for when i still didn't know how tumblr worked. v v interesting brain and amazing poems ill read them and still be thinking abt them days later. soo funny best vibes i love u💪🏽

@brucegf fran the love of my life actually. ur blog is like a perfect representation of u and i love it ur writing drives me up the walls when helter skelter comes out i will not sleep for a week actually. i think ur the coolest and soo fucking funny i love you!!

@literateleah ive said this before i think but truly my smartest mutual... the one i have to thank for the brain damage that is my klg obsession and the one with the best taste in books. i scroll through ur recs tag every other day to add stuff to my tbr <3 so so smart hot and funny too. who allowed that

@boysaints i have a post in my draft that's like me messaging lee is just a series of messages showing my descent into madness and like. yeah. he's absolutely crazy and soo talented my entire family thinks so <3 prettiest blog and hilarious too everytime i see a notification from them i go :D. anyways love u king ur amazing

@falseprophetgf literally my sweetest mutual actually claud is so effortlessly kind and so fucking talented the poems they send the gc are always soo amazing it drives me crazy. everytime i talk to u i have so much fun and ur blog is so nice fr <3 love you 🤞🏼

@declan layla is actually insane but. fellow yuuji stan and sooo funny has made me laugh on multiple occasions fr... they r literally never on here but i can forgive that bcs her queue is perfect even if 95% of it is anime boys who i DONT know. the art is gorgeous anyways love you💪🏽

@rorygilmoregf beedee is the love of my life and she makes me crazy!! all of ur writing is perfect and everything u send me is so nice and sweet... her literati breakdowns make my day and the way u talk about ur favorite characters with so much love. Yeah. i think ur the coolest and i can't believe we r mutuals sometimes xo

@prophetbf SHEM!!! all of ur posts are perfect and i mean that. ur such a genuine and kind person in one sentence then the next ur talking about hippo porn and hole the duality of man i guess. i think ur so cool and i want to steal ur gender i love every conversation ive had with you my bestie!

[mblay-and-company]

It’s Self Indulgent FanFiction time, ya’ll!!!

So I came across this Prompt List by @palettes-and-prompts and IMMEDIATELY became intrigued by the very first dialogue prompt, and since a certain Hotel in Hell with a certain Radio Demon has became my Hyperfixation for the time being, I have decided to indulge myself.

When I started, I really struggled to decide if I wanted to directly insert myself into this or make it a Reader Fic.  I decided fuck it, this is for me!  And then I struggled to decide which name to use for myself, bc most of my OC’s are named after me in some degree and it’s very awkward... :I

So, without further ado, have a FanFic featuring a human me hanging out in the Hotel and having been foolish enough to have made SOME deals with Alastor, but not stupid enough to sell my Soul to him.  Misadventures of Michaela the Hell Temp, go!

"C'mon, toots, ya gotta tell me what yer kink is!"

Michaela let out a hard sigh, looking at the Effeminate Spider Demon with an exhausted glare.

"I don't need to tell you anything, Angel-"

"But I gotta know what freaky shit Smiles is into!  You two clearly are into something!"

After Angel Dust learned about the "bizarre Deal" she admitted to have with Alastor, along with what she described as a light crush, he immediately started making assumptions.  Honestly, it felt like he had been drilling her for hours for the "deets," even though it was probably only a few minutes at best.

"Angel, do you not understand how being Ace works-"

"Is it a Foot Fetish?!  Are ya two into suckin' toes?!" He almost let out a cheer when he watched her react, but quickly realized she was recoiling in disgust.

"Angel, that's fucking gross!  Do ya even know how much DEAD SKIN there is between toes???" She gagged out, her nose scrunched up.

"And why are we wondering about dead skin cells?" The two quickly turned to see a curious Alastor, quietly drinking a cup of coffee.  He could hear the sounds of their argument halfway across the Hotel, and it finally piqued his interest.

"Al, you really don't wanna be a part of this-" She tried to warn him, only to get shoved out of the way by Angel.

"Smiles!  What kinky shit do you two do during sex???" He practically screamed out with excitement.  Alastor let out a sudden cough, choking on his coffee.

"I beg your PARDON?!" He sputtered out, his grin pulled tight and twitching in the corners.  The static that emanated off of him seemed to intensify in agitation.  With another hard sigh, Michaela gave Angel a harsh check to his side, knocking him to the ground.

"This idiot is CONVINCED that we must have sex together just because we do business with each other.  He's been trying to delve into this nonexistant sex life for WAY too long, and I can feel a migrain coming on because of it." She scowled, rubbing her temples.  Alastor made a cough to clear his throat out, looking over at Angel.

"I fear you have forgotten that not everyone is in the Prostitution Business, my effeminate fellow!  And besides, I believe it is in your best interest to know that your little pet has squeezed himself under the oven, and our Charming Demon Belle can't coax him out.  I offered my assistance, but she doesn't seem to trust me with the pig's safety!"  He cried out in feigned offence, dramatically putting his hand over his heart in a swoon.  Upon being told his beloved pet was potentially in danger, Angel let out a distressed gasp.

"Fat Nuggets, hold on, Daddy's coming for ya!!!"  He cried out, sprinting down the hall at full speed.  Michaela let out a hard sigh of relief, her shoulders slumping down.

"I thought he would never leave..." She muttered, before looking up at Alastor.  "Is Nugs really stuck?"

"It would seem so..." He hummed thoughtfully.  "I wasn't planning on telling Angel about it, but it certainly became a much needed means to remove him from the room!"

"It seems we both conveniently benefit from this..." She mused, rubbing her temples again.  She was trying to think of ways to politely thank him without incurring a higher "tab" of debt with him.  The dealings she already had with him were careful, but she knew full well that he was much more cunning than she was, and he was VERY good at pulling the "favor" card.

"Most certainly, my dear!" He laughed heartily.  "I couldn't leave you in such a distressing state!  Not when I would find myself just as uncomfortable!"

"Thanks for that..." She let out a soft sigh.  Perhaps finding situations that were mutually beneficial really was the way to go?

"However..."

And there it was.  She couldn't help but cringe as she watched him tap his chin thoughtfully, his eyes focused entirely on her.

"I can't help but think that our business dealings isn't the ONLY reason that spider was so insistent on believing we had a... Less than professional relationship?" His eyebrows quirked as he carefully studied her expression. She was a combination of conflicted, embarrassed, and possibly mocking?  She was a massive kaleidoscope of emotions, many often showing off at once, making a very entertaining - Sometimes even unique - show for him.

"First of all..." She started, swirling her hand in circles to keep her thought process going.  "... Describing our relationship as "Professional" is kinda laughable, considering the CLOSEST I could be described is a Temp for you."  He simply responded with a static laced chuckle, followed with his disembodied laugh track, and a shrug.

"Second of all..." Her pause was a lot longer, rubbing one side of her temples with one hand as she held up a finger with the other, as if to say "One moment."  She let out another hard sigh, and let out a mumbled "I can't believe I'm explaining this to you..."

"You have my full attention now, sweetheart, I am most intrigued with what you have to say!  No backing out now!"  He chimed with a quirked eyebrow, his eyes glistening with intrigue and possible mischief.  With another sigh, she looked him dead in the eyes.

"I have a minor crush on you... A small infatuation..." She admitted, already regretting saying anything.  She braced for the inevitable mocking as he processed what she said to him.  Eventually he broke the silence with the hard laughter she expected of him, and after what felt like an eternity he wiped a tear from his eye.

"A horrible decision, really.  I pegged you to at LEAST be a little smarter than that, darling..." He chuckled darkly, before bending down to bring his face to eye level with her.  "After all, you know full well what horrors I am capable of, yes?  What I have done, and will continue to do, for all of eternity?"

She could feel a lump of nervousness caught in her throat.  His grin was impossibly wide and extremely dangerous, and his eyes were half lidded.  He looked exactly like what he was; A predator with full control over the situation.  If he decided to, he could kill her with such ease.  With a hard swallow, she explained herself.

"I'm not naive...  Nor am I complacent.  I certainly don't support or condone the atrocities you've done..." She let out a hard sigh, repeating the circling motion with her hand to process her thoughts.  "It's just easy to be... Charmed by your more gentlemanly behaviors... Your... Damn it, brain, you had this word five seconds ago...  It's usually used in reference to illnesses that spread easy..." She muttered as the circling became much faster.

"Contagious?" He offered with a chuckle, straightening himself out.  She admitted to this problem of forgetting words quite a while ago, despite her brain fully remembering the concept of the word she's attempting to say.  It was an interesting dilemma, to say the least.  She once anguished over forgetting the word "oven" for a week.

"Yeah, that one.  Your high energy and smile are very contagious..." She said with a point, before continuing.  "I always enjoy the music.  I may be modern, and I know you don't support most of my taste, but I do really like smooth jazz and swing.  You also genuinely make me laugh with your Dad Jokes, I find them hilarious..." The circling of her hand slowly became slower as she started to run out of her steam.

"I could never, in my right mind, try to chase after a serious romance with you, knowing full well the kind of monster you are...  But I can still find some of your other traits endearing.  I absolutely love a man who is passionate, kind of silly, gentlemanly, and for fuck's sake, you're an amazing cook!  It's hard to not be smitten by something that's being chased away by modern views of how men should act..." With a final sigh, she looked him in the eyes, resolved but quite tired.  She was surprised to see how much his expression had softened, especially with her last sentence.

". . . You are a remarkably. . . Perceptive individual, Michaela." He started softly, the static crackle nigh inaudible.  "Especially with how your own mind works.  I have seen, time and time again, fools allow themselves to spiral in such frivolous fantasies and drive themselves mad not knowing WHY they chased them in the first place.  And yet you seem so capable of picking apart your own brain like a professional Psychologist.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't impressed to some degree."

She looked at him with a bewildered look, certainly not expecting any form of PRAISE from him like that.  She said nothing, cautiously holding her tongue and waiting for the preverbal "but..."

"Given Angel's more... Crass nature, I can certainly see how he misconstrued your infatuation.  However, it's clear as crystal to me that you wouldn't harbor such lustful intentions towards me!" He nodded to himself, seeming almost proud of this sudden character study.

"Never really was interested in sex." She laughs out matter of factly.  "And I think most of us can agree you aren't, either, so I don't see how two people not interested suddenly makes a duo WILDLY interested, especially in the weirder things Angel was suggesting..." She cringed slightly at the thought of the toes again, but the both of them started laughing again.  Alastor took a step closer, giving her a firm pat on the shoulders.

"Yes, indeedy, my dear!  This is an unexpected turn of events for me, to find someone who shares my woes!" He chimed happily, using his hand to gently coax her head to look up at him.  He hadn't seen her laugh and smile like this in a while, and it was a nice change of pace compared to her exhausted melancholy or entertaining - Albeit quick - flashes of anger.  "There's that lovely smile that's been missing!  As you know-"

"Yeah yeah, never fully dressed and all that." She chuckles with an eye roll.  "Though it IS definitely nice to talk to someone who actually UNDERSTANDS the lack of interest..."

She continued to ramble on, but he stopped listening.  She was usually very cautious about how he touched her, showing to be quite aversive if he attempted to go close to her neck in particular.  But it was like she didn't notice where his hand was, and was getting complacent.  Comfortable.  Lowering her guard.  He didn't bare his teeth to her, yet, but his smirk still pulled tight.  He watched through half lidded eyes as she caught herself stumbling over her words, and slowly realized the situation she was in.  As she slowed her ramblings to a stop, she attempted to move her head away; Only for him to tightly grip onto her face, his clawed fingers dangerously close to cutting into her cheeks.  It was at this point, looking at her terrified realization, that he bared his teeth to her.

"A-Alastor, I..." She quietly pleaded, feeling cold sweat starting to bead on her forehead.  Her body had tensed and her arms raised half way, but she stopped herself before trying to pry his hands away.  Not only did she know that it would be a futile attempt with his Demonic strength, but it could have been foolish to DARE try to touch him.  Her hands trembled in fear and conflict as he slowly pulled her face closer, forcing her to stand on her tiptoes, as he leaned in to close the distance.  Mere hairs separated their noses.

"I will admit..." He started coolly, his eyes flicking down the hall quickly to make sure no one would interrupt him, before returning his gaze to the frightened girl in his grasp.  "... The fact that Angel considered such a thing possible is quite amusing, even despite our... Lack of sexual desires.  Do you know why, my dear..?"

"N-No, I don't..." She swallowed hard, not understanding where he could be bringing this conversation.  She shuddered as he let out a cold laugh.

"It's amusing because even if we were both more active in seeking sexual gratification... You are still a small and weak living human.  And, if I could be so frank..."  He leaned closer to her ear, whispering with a sweet venom that made her blood run cold. "I don’t know if your fragile body can handle what I want to do to you."

He let out another dark chuckle before lowering her and releasing his grasp, reveling in the look of utter terror on her face; Eyes wide, mouth slack, and trembling like a small kitten caught in a rainstorm.  And then, as if a switch flipped in his mind, his expression softened to the more excited and less threatening version of himself.

"Now, I do believe it's lunch time!  Now I'm sure that Angel managed to get his little pet out of that little spot of trouble it was in, but perhaps I'll be able to have some bacon anyways!" He laughs with a jovial energy, as if the previous conversation never happened.  He quickly disappeared around the corner, heading straight for the kitchen.

Michaela stood alone in the hall, slowly bringing her hands to her cheeks.  It started to check the damage, but she slowly found herself becoming flustered as she thought about his strange threat.  What could he have considered?  Biting?  Clawing?  Crushing with tentacles?  The thought was, admittedly, exciting, and she had to stop herself from calling for Alastor to ask for clarification.

The last thing she needed a Sadist like him to learn was that she was, very contradictory to most of her Asexual nature, Masochistic and easily excited over such thoughts.

[crue-sixx]

Cat Person (John Wick Imagine)

This was requested.

Summary: John Wick never considered himself a cat person, but you just might be able to change his mind.

I know the gif is from Constantine, but it fits so...

John Wick had never considered himself much of a cat person. Honestly, he’d never considered himself a dog person either, but that had obviously changed. His beloved pit bull was proof of that. It’s not that he hated cats. He just didn’t really understand the furry creatures. They were so quiet and sneaky. They also seemed to be pretty ill tempered.

But then you came along.

You and John had been dating for over a year after meeting at the bookstore that you owned. You just so happened to be working the day John Wick strolled in. He asked you what books you would recommend so you helped him out. You showed him your favorites, but the man had already read the majority of them, telling you that they were some of his favorites as well. You talked about them for a while and even went out for coffee when your employee came in to relieve you. You two were pretty much inseparable after that.

John had just recently asked you to move in with him and you did. Everything was great. You two were comfortable with each other and you loved his dog to bits, but you felt like you were missing something. Being around John’s dog made you long for another pet...a cat to be exact.

“John, how do you feel about cats?” You asked your boyfriend as you were both sat on the couch, watching a movie while drinking some wine.

“That’s a random question,” he replied after he took a sip from his wine glass.

“I’m just curious,” you told him and shrugged your shoulders.

“I don’t know,” he answered you. “I haven’t been around them much to really form an opinion. I don’t consider myself a cat person though.”

You frowned a little as you nodded your head. You didn’t expect that.

“Well, I think cats are absolutely adorable,” you said. “They’re so cute.”

“I guess so,” he replied, simply.

Nothing else was said between you two for a few moments. All that could be heard was the television and John’s dog snoring from his spot by the end of your feet.

“I heard they make really good pets,” you commented.

John’s brow raised as he looked down at you. You were cuddled up close to him with his arm around you. You glanced up at him and smiled a little at him.

“Are you trying to suggest that we get a cat?” John asked you.

You took a sip of your wine before you shrugged your shoulders. “Yeah...I just thought it would be a nice addition. My old apartment building didn’t allow animals so I was never able to get one.”

John finished off his wine and leaned forward to sit his glass on the coffee table. You scooted over so he could do so.

“I don’t think that’s a really good idea,” John finally said. “We already have a pet. Also, he’s a dog. Don’t dogs and cats hate each other?”

“Not all of them,” you replied as you look at him.

“I still don’t think it’s a very good idea, Y/N,” he replied. “I’m sorry.”

You frowned, but nodded your head. You couldn’t force this upon John. It had to be a mutual agreement between you both, but he just wasn’t on board with it. It disappointed you, yes, but there was nothing you could do about it.

“It’s okay,” you finally told him. “It was just a suggestion.”

John could see that this had upset you no matter how much you tried to act otherwise. He hated that he made you upset. He just wasn’t sure about adding another furry creature to the household. There was also the issue of his dog and a cat getting along.

The rest of the night was spent watching tv before going to bed together. John’s dog slept at the end of the bed as he usually did. You were fast asleep, but John was still awake. He was debating the whole thing in his head, making a pro’s and con’s list in his head. Getting a cat would make you happy and making you happy was all John wanted. It didn’t take him long to come to a decision.

————

You walked into the home that you and John shared the next evening after spending some time at the bookstore. You didn’t expect there to be anything different when you walked through the door, but you were in for quite the surprise.

You glanced into the living room and did a double take at what you saw. There, sitting on the couch, was John. It wasn’t just him, however. He was holding a cat in his lap, petting it as its tail moved around.

“John?” You asked as you stepped over to him. “Why are you holding a cat? What are you doing with a cat?”

John looked up from the cat and at you. “I’m holding her because she likes it. She’s our cat now.”

You were surprised to hear that. Just the night before John had told you that a cat was a bad idea, but then there he was with one and saying it was yours.

“How did that happen?” You asked.

“Well, I stayed awake most of the night and thought about it,” he told you. “It wasn’t fair of me to just push the idea off. This is your home too and you should be able to make decisions. You seemed really happy about the idea of a cat for a pet. I went to the animal shelter today and found this cat. She was alone and seemed to be in need of someone who would show her some attention. I knew she was perfect for you. I bought everything she would need.”

You smiled at that and felt your heart warm. John did this all for you and he seemed to be totally okay with it. What did you ever do to deserve John Wick?

“I’m pretty fond of her and so is my dog,” he said. “I was shocked really. I kept a hold of her just in case something happened, but all he did was sniff her and she rubbed up against him when I let her down. Is that even normal?”

You giggled as you stepped up closer to him and pet the cat. She had pretty grey fur that was soft to the touch. She purred as you rubbed her.

“Her name’s Willow,” John said as he stood up and handed her to you. “I hope you don’t mind that I picked out a cat without you. I just wanted to surprise you.”

“John, this is the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me,” you told him as you looked at him. “Thank you so much.”

You leaned in to kiss John. He kissed you back and cupped your cheek in his hand. Willow moved around in your arms a bit so you pulled away from John and put her down. She walked around until John’s dog came into view. She rubbed herself against him and the dog didn’t do a thing.

“That’s just freaking me out,” John said. “I figured he’d go into attack mode.”

“Hey, he’s a sweet innocent little puppy,” you told John as you leaned into him.

John chuckled and shook his head before he looked down at you. He pecked your lips and you smiled.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, John.”

[godkilller]

[ Apologies if this has been asked before, but why do you think Gin chose not to let Rangiku in on why he always acted the way he did on the outside (why he adopted his sly fox-like persona to the Gotei and Aizen) and chose to deceive her as well? How do you think he weighed out the two options of telling her or not telling her, and what do you think prompted him to choose the latter? Also, do you think that he thought it would be better the way he went about it? Why? ]

          As always, you ask an excellent question—-that has multiple levels of answers, really. This can be broken down into bits and pieces, but I don’t want to get too lost in my own words (hopefully I still don’t) so I’ll do my best to explain. And, as always, thank you for your engaging and interactive questions that help me further flesh out my favorite character!

          Gin made his Terrible Life Choice ( #1 ) when he was a child. He involved himself in the business of avenging, in the business of Aizen’s interests, when he was a mere kid. To Gin, he had just declared war against perhaps the strongest and most cunning Shinigami in all of Soul Society. No one else knew of this man’s criminal activities ( or worse, they didn’t care enough to stop him, OR couldn’t even hope to try ) which lead him to the path of secrecy he took. Anyone could be a pawn of Aizen’s, or indifferent to the pain he was causing—-Gin couldn’t just run around and tell anyone about the connection he made, about what he was doing. It’s not that he didn’t trust Rangiku to keep a secret, it’s that he didn’t want her to. Not only would it be entirely taxing as well as outright dangerous for her to know the evil dwelling within the Fifth Division, but it would also make her stuck in the middle–thanks to Gin, indirectly, involving her.

         Imagine if Rangiku knew Aizen planned to betray Soul Society. Now, Rangiku must somehow run alongside her captain as Toshiro questions who murdered Aizen, slanders and outright fights Gin, and then barges in on the slain Central 46. She’s a great liar, she knows how to manipulate–but the strain of having to pretend to be oblivious, to want to tell others for their own safety, out of duty, would be absolutely unfair to inflict upon her. Not only that, but Rangiku is ranked as a lieutenant, she cannot stand up to a captain no matter her skills and strength. Why would Gin feel compelled to place her within Aizen’s crosshairs via telling her any portion of the truth when she’s so ill-equipped to defend herself against who he’s now essentially spying on to relay that truth to her?

          Why give Aizen access to his own personal ‘weakness’? Gin learned of Kyoka Suigetsu’s weakness when he was still just a boy. He knew, after a few decades, exactly how to bring down Aizen Sosuke and all of his grand power. To relay even a whisper of what he was told in privacy, in genuine trust, by Aizen who has also shown he is capable of spying on others via illusions of invisibility would be to condemn the listener to Aizen’s wrath. It’d get them both killed, and that’s far too high a risk especially since now all Gin needed to do to kill him was achieve a Bankai worthy of slaying another captain. That would take… maybe another few decades–that’s it, then he’d have his ammo. Why destroy his chances by leaking information to the one person he cares for, potentially blow his ‘cover’, get her killed, get himself killed, when he could just play patient and wait?

          There’s a reason that Aizen didn’t realize the depths of Gin’s care for Rangiku—-to hold her as far away from his deeds as possible allowed him to remove her almost ENTIRELY from the line of fire. Aizen never once contemplated using her, like he used so many other loved ones vs each other for his gain, against Gin. Gin was able to lie to Aizen’s face about having killed her and Aizen merely hummed, interest piqued, at the fact that she could have possibly been a friend.

        Gin adopted a persona, that’s true, but the Ichimaru Gin the audience was introduced to in light of Rukia’s arrest and upcoming execution was actually an admitted act to draw suspicion towards him to otherwise distract the Gotei 13 whilst a very alive Aizen operated within the slain Central 46′s headquarters. It’s shown that throughout the ‘Rescue Rukia’ arc, Gin’s actions are conveyed as not normal for him. Rangiku and Izuru knew something was off ( as well as Yamamoto, technically, who called for a captain’s meeting to specifically question why Gin had engaged with and allowed the invaders to survive—-when every captain in the room knew he was more than capable of handling a few kids ) because he was, quite literally, ‘out of character’ to them. Rangiku spends the entire arc distressed, wondering what was going on that he wasn’t telling her.

          The persona we know as the audience became obvious as Gin’s go-to for once he betrayed Soul Society, almost in mirroring parallel to how Aizen dropped his ‘kind’ act once he left the Gotei 13 as well. Only the audience is to believe that Gin had always been disliked, he had always behaved in such an evil, outright cruel manner. With character books out and reflections given in Tite’s own words, Gin was a beloved captain. He was kind to his subordinates and the worst he was known for was his occasional prank. Rukia disliked him for reasons, and the feeling was mutual ( briefly elaborated on in an answer to one of your lovely questions, actually! ) but otherwise Gin’s presence didn’t immediately bring distaste to his coworkers’ mouths. Gin acted the way we know him for when he first met Aizen. It’s safe to say that his persona was created specifically to lure Aizen into trusting him more–to portray himself as the vilest. That is also why, in his character poem, Gin mentions ‘becoming a snake’ or an otherwise monstrous person in order to achieve his murderous plot. To the point of twisting and marring himself past recognizable means for Rangiku, until the words ‘I love you’ became too tainted. It’s safe to say this persona of his was not meant for / was not often displayed for Rangiku in private moments, but that it certainly had its costs that Gin ultimately decided were worth it.

          Gin, in my opinion, must have gone through a brutal cyclone of back-and-forths concerning what to tell Rangiku, what to bite his tongue over, and so on. With time, with age, keeping secrets from her definitely got easier. But that wouldn’t dull the ache of feeling so foreign to the one person that should know everything about him by now; feeling isolated from her, standing right in front of her, most likely made him wish he could tell her everything. However, for the reasons I listed above, he’d always opt out. I think in the span of canon up until my canon-divergent verses, Gin has probably come close to telling Rangiku at least a portion of the truth about what he was doing twice. A burning argument as they were kids, a heartbreaking question of why and the desire to just give in. And then a well-aimed question, a moment of vulnerability, and mayhaps the presence of alcohol—-enough of a close call for Gin to fashion the answer behind a new shiny set of repressing walls.

          Rangiku’s safety and wellbeing, as well as the eventual return of her missing soul piece, would always, ALWAYS outweigh her feelings. Gin wouldn’t find himself too confused over his choice once he remembered that she was much more safe by not knowing. He for sure believed that was the ‘better’ choice, though he never concretely believed specifically that deceiving her was the ‘lesser of two evils’ etc. In the end, Gin weighed that her life was more important than his transparency with her.

          Now that he’s officially promised Rangiku some answers to that burning question of why—-Gin has to figure out how to phrase it. Aizen is locked away, Rangiku isn’t a little girl anymore; it’s no longer extremely dangerous to discuss openly, to be vulnerable, about her ties to the beginning of Aizen’s rise to power. The Hogyoku. Everything. Now it’s simply a matter of how prepared Gin is to navigate that minefield.

[sushigirlali]

The Politics of Dancing - Part I (Reylo Fanfic)

Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV

Summary: Ben has known Rey most of her life, but when things change between them one tumultuous night, can he convince her that they have a future? Or will secret legacies, scheming parents, and fetching suitors get in the way?

Parings: Rey + Ben Solo|Kylo Ren, Finn + Rose Tico

Continuity: Regency AU

Rating: E

A/N: Pride and Prejudice is my jam, so I’ve been wanting to set a story in the Regency period for a long time. This is also a Christmas fic, so happy belated holidays, everyone! Also, special shout-out to a few of my fellow Capricorn mutuals! Happy Birthday, @rad-braybury & @dvrkrey & @atchamberlin​ 💙❤️ Can’t wait to see what you talented Reylos come up with on the lead up to EPIX and beyond!

Master list –> AO3 | ff.net | Tumblr 

——————

The Politics of Dancing - Part I

By: sushigirlali 

——————

London, December 1818

——————

Lounging indolently on his mother’s favorite crimson chaise, Ben Solo pretended to listen to the incessant prattle of the desperate debutant sitting across from him. Miss what’s-her-name was more demanding than most, but unfortunately for her, he was too busy searching for his uncle’s distractingly beautiful ward to care.

Where is she? Ben frowned, smoky eyes darting toward the grand staircase for the fourth time in as many minutes. It’s been nearly three hours.

Impatiently tapping his fingertips against the soft velvet of the couch, Ben wondered whether he should go check on her. Purely out of concern for her wellbeing, of course. She must be tried after last night, he smirked.

Recalling the sated look on Rey Niima’s flushed face as he brought her to orgasm after shattering orgasm the night before, Ben shifted restlessly in his seat. It would be unseemly to make a spectacle of himself in his parents’ drawing room, but the memory of his lover’s tantalizing response was proving difficult to suppress.

Turning in the direction of the immaculately decorated evergreen tree in the corner, Ben attempted to focus on something less sexually charged when a sudden sense of déjà vu struck him. The room had been similarly decorated the first day he’d met Rey, more than fifteen years ago.

Fifteen years, Ben marveled. It seems like a lifetime ago now…

Orphaned at the age of five when her parents died in a freak factory fire while touring their holdings in the industrial district, Rey’s future had been precarious in the days leading up to Christmas. The Niima’s were of the nouveau riche variety, and consequently, they owed money to numerous lenders, up to and including the Bank of England itself. But with no other family or capital to help settle her parent’s ill-kempt accounts, Luke and Leia had felt it was their duty as longtime friends of Lord and Lady Niima to take care of Rey in their stead.

As a spoiled teenager, he’d been resentful of the attention she’d garnered from his family, feeling left out while his mother fussed over Rey like the daughter she’d always wanted. But despite his attitude in those early years, Rey had blossomed under the Skywalker’s care.

Since money was no issue for one of the wealthiest families in the country, Rey was afforded everything a young lady needed to thrive in society, including a world class education in music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages. In addition, Luke fully supported her dream of studying mathematics and engineering, something no other lady of his acquaintance could boast.

But then, we’re an unconventional family, Ben allowed.

Although Skywalker Manor was entailed to Luke as his father’s heir, his uncle had opted to raise Rey in his small but comfortable country estate instead, leaving the mansion in London to his beloved sister and best friend. The move had raised quite a few manicured eyebrows, but Luke had never been one to follow tradition.

I’m still curious about what his motives could have been. Beyond the Skywalker party line, that is.

Whenever the subject was broached, his mother simply stated that her brother had volunteered to mentor Rey out of loneliness, but Ben wasn’t so sure; the old hermit seemed pretty self-sufficient to him. Still, it was impossible to deny the effect that Rey’s bright personality had had on his uncle’s taciturn disposition.

Or mine, for that matter, he thought wryly, acknowledging how thoroughly the young ingénue had wormed her way into his heart.

The initial antagonism he’d felt toward Rey had ended the year before he’d gone away for University, when old man Snoke had slashed him across the face for stealing apples from his prized orchard. Although he’d been guilty of the crime, the brass seven-year-old had covered for him with his parents, making up a story about how he’d cut his cheek on a tree branch while out riding instead.

He’d felt guilty for deceiving his parents, but when Snoke suddenly succumbed to syphilis a few weeks later, Ben didn’t see the point in correcting the lie; it was best to let the past die with his attacker as far as he was concerned.

Tracing the faint mark still maring his right cheek, Ben contemplated the old injury. It had piqued his vanity at first, but the slight imperfection hadn’t stopped him from attracting friends—or women—while attending Oxford. In fact, most people seemed to be interested in the faded scar while far less were off-put by it.

I’m sure my family’s money had something to do with it as well, he mused, not blind to the fact that his status had paved the way through a great many obstacles.

After school, Ben had worked for his father for a number of years, traveling around the world and securing their interests against outside threats. By twenty-six, he’d earned a reputation for being a ruthless negotiator and was able to stave off French control of his family’s assets leading up to Napoléon’s defeat at Waterloo in 1815.

He was proud of all he’d accomplished while abroad, but once the war was over, Ben was shocked to discover how much Rey had grown up in his absence. Coming home on her eighteenth birthday, he’d been instantly captivated by her delicate beauty and unbridled intelligence. Ignoring his growing attraction to the lively orphan had become more difficult with every subsequent family gathering, but the ten-year age gap between them had given him pause.

Up until last night, that is.

Now twenty-one, Rey was fully in control of her own sexuality; she knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to ask for it. He supposed he should’ve resisted her advances when she slipped into his room after the rest of the house had gone to bed the previous evening, but after flirting with her all throughout dinner, not to mention the several glasses of wine he’d imbibed, Ben hadn’t been able to keep his hands off his adopted cousin.

Thank the maker that we’re not actually related.

Succumbing to her charms had been a long time coming and he was frankly impressed with himself for holding out for so—

“Don’t you think, Lord Ren?”

“Huh?” Ben stared blankly at the source of the interruption.

“I was remarking on unpatriotic Lady Lintra’s gown is!” she tittered. “It’s just so French!”

Lady who?

“Lord Ren?” she said when he didn’t react, resting a hand on his muscular thigh. “Are you listening to—”

Staring past the airhead still jabbering away at him, Ben’s jaw dropped as Rey appeared at the top of the stairs in a striking ivory gown. She wore no jewelry or makeup, but the healthy glow in her cheeks made her look radiant. Her hair, swept up into an intricate coiffure and studded with little white flowers, completed the look to perfection.

“If you’ll excuse me,” he said absently, ignoring his suitor’s feeble protests as he brushed her off.

Moving to intercept Rey, Ben’s jovial mood quickly soured as she brushed past him without a word, crossing the room to seek the company of Finn Johnson instead.

What the hell?!

Ben had only known the Earl for a short time, but judging by the warm reception on her lovely face, Rey and Finn were old chums. Up until tonight, he’d liked the younger man, but now he wasn’t so sure…

——————

Rolling her eyes at the frivolous bows and bonnets vying for Lord Ren’s attention, Rey covertly tracked his movements through the crowd. He was all politeness and grace when it was time to turn on the charm, but if the ladies of the ton knew how hot-blooded he really was, they’d be shocked senseless.

Glaring at the dark-haired woman who’d been fondling Ben’s thigh when she walked in, Rey wondered whether Ben had slept with her as well. Had this painted tart been as agreeable as she’d been the night before? The thought didn’t sit well with her, but having fallen for the conceited wretch herself, she really couldn’t blame the young coquette if she had.

Don’t be a hypocrite, Rey, you would’ve done anything to have him just last night; and you did. Shivering as she recalled the pleasure of losing herself in Ben Solo’s arms at long last, Rey diverted her attention back to her lifelong friend. It was much easier to endure her inexplicable jealousy with Finn around.

“So, how is Rose? Have you proposed yet?” Rey inquired mischievously.

“Shh!” Finn whispered, looking around to make sure no one had overheard. “I’m still working out the finer points, so I’ll thank you to hold your tongue until the moment is right.”

“It’s been three years, Finn, how much longer are you going to make the girl wait?” she teased.

“Until such a time as I can convince my family that I’m not throwing my life away by marrying a, and I quote, ‘uncultured commoner who’s only after my fortune.’ ”

“Oh, Finn…” Rey said sympathetically.

“Why do you think my mother has been pushing for us to make a match? She’s in love with all that nice Skywalker money,” he said in disgust.

“It’s not like she would see any money out of the arrangement. Uncle Luke has been like a father to me, sure, but I’m not a Skywalker. I’m not blood,” she said without heat.

“But you’re his heir,” Finn stated glibly, “so that doesn’t really matter now, does it?”

“I’m his—what?” Rey exclaimed, looking around to make sure no one was listening. “Wherever did you hear such an outrageous lie?” she hissed.

“What?” Finn gaped at her. “Wait a minute! Wait just a damn minute! You don’t know? He didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?” she said uncertainly.

“Luke submitted a last will and testament to his lawyer right after your twenty-first birthday, naming you heir to the Skywalker fortune,” he informed her.

“But…what about Ben?” Rey made the mistake of glancing at him across the room, drawing Ben’s attention away from his latest admirer. “Oh, no, he’s—”  

“Leia’s son, not Luke’s,” Finn reminded her.

“No! He’s walking toward us,” Rey interrupted. “Quick! Dance with me! I need a moment to think.”

Finn immediately complied, taking her hand and leading her into a simple country dance. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to spring this on you. I assumed you knew.”

Rey shook her head. “Luke never said a word.”

“I know he’s not the most talkative chap, but he should’ve discussed this with you before acting,” Finn said thoughtfully, tracing his foot along the floor.

“Tell me about it,” she said, matching his steps with practiced ease.

“Why do you think he kept it to himself?”

“Probably to keep me from running off before Christmas,” she sighed. “I never would have come to London if I’d known that Luke was going to strip Ben of his inheritance.”

“Do you think Ren knows?”

“I’m not sure,” Rey said hesitantly. “Why?”

Finn eyed the other man over her shoulder. “He’s been watching you since you descended the staircase. He looks…well, angry isn’t the right word. Jealous, maybe?”

“Jealous? I’m sure you’re mistaken,” she laughed, trying to play down Ben’s interest. Now wasn’t the time to admit that she was a fallen woman and Ben was likely feeling territorial. There were more pressing matters at hand. “He’s probably just bored and looking for someone to talk to. We are family, after all.”

Finn seemed to accept her explanation, but he kept looking from her to Ben and back again as if trying to work something out.

“But back to you!” Rey attempted to divert him. “Tell me more about Rose. I hear she’s quite the tinkerer…”

Rey half-listened as Finn began talking animatedly about the woman he hoped to marry, thinking back to the morning of her and Luke’s arrival several days ago. Ben hadn’t been hostile when he’d greeted them at the estate’s grand entrance gate and helped them unload the carriage, so it seemed unlikely that he knew about Luke’s revised will. If anything, he’d been more approachable than usual.

Ben’s never been particularly sociable, although his attitude has certainly improved over the years…among other things. Rey bit her lip as she remembered how he’d looked without a stitch of clothing on, how he’d felt lying full-length on top of her.

She’d been shy at first, despite provoking the situation, but Ben had taken his time with her, arousing her until she was breathless and begging. But did he take such good care of me because he wanted me as much as I wanted him or…? Rey stalled as a terrible thought crossed her mind.

What if Ben knew about his change of status and simply hadn’t let on? What if he’d slept with her knowing that she would be compromised and therefore beholden to him if he chose to make her loss of innocence known? Would Ben stoop to sleeping with her to ensure that he had access to Luke’s money?

Once again searching for him in the crowd, Rey started when she realized that Ben had maneuvered himself behind her partner, clearly intent on cornering her before she left the dance floor.

“Rose and her sister, Paige, are both—”

“Oh, no!”

“What’s wrong?” Finn said, giving Rey a quizzical look.

“Ben’s right behind you!” she whispered. “What should I do if he asks me to dance? I have no idea what to say to him right now.”

“You’d better brace yourself then,” Finn chuckled as he looked over his shoulder, “because I don’t think he’s going to take ‘no’ for an answer.”

——————

Glowering as Rey leaned into conversation with her handsome partner, Ben waited impatiently for a break in the music. Feeling like a fool for waxing poetic about her for hours on end while she was content to ignore him in favor of another man, Ben was determined to get an explanation out of her. Had their midnight rendezvous meant so little to her? Was he the only one who’d laid their heart on the line? He had to know.

“Lady Niima, may I have the next dance?” he requested as soon as the last note sounded, giving Finn the barest of nods before holding out his arm for Rey.

“If you must,” she said tightly, curving her fingers around his thick bicep while her friend respectfully stepped to the side.

“Thank you, my lady,” Ben said, amused by her haughty tone. Damn, but he liked her. “Give me your hand,” he directed when the orchestra took up a dreamy ballad.

“A waltz?” Rey inquired curiously, assuming the correct posture by placing one hand on his shoulder and the other in his. “Are you sure we should be doing this, my lord?”

“Whatever do you mean?” he replied, expertly leading her into the foreign dance.

“In some circles, the waltz is considered inappropriate between unwed men and women, as you well know—oh!” she gasped as he suddenly swept her off her feet and twirled her in a wide circle. “Ben!” she laughed in an unguarded moment of pure joy, exhilarated by his display of strength.

“That’s better,” Ben beamed, lacing their fingers together. “I’ve been waiting to see you smile again all day, sweetheart.”

Rey’s eyes widened at the endearment before sliding surreptitiously around the room. “Put me down, please,” she said coolly.

Gently lowering her to the ground, Ben searched her pretty face. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” she denied curtly.

“You’re angry with me,” he said in surprise, picking up on her mood.

“I’m angry with myself,” Rey corrected.

“Whatever for?”

“I’m not like you, Ben,” Rey huffed. “Despite what I instigated last night, I can’t just sleep around and damn the consequences. I can’t just flirt with whomever I want and hope for the best. If I want to make a good marriage, I have to—”

“Who do you intend to marry?” he interrupted sharply, pulling her to a stop. “Johnson?”

“It doesn’t matter. Look, there’s something I need to tell—”

“Of course it matters!” Ben growled, tightening his hold. “You’re mine!”

“Excuse me?! I’m no one’s property,” she shot back.

“Don’t test me, Rey, I’m not in the mood for games,” he said, dragging her flush against him and lowering his lips to within an inch of her own. “We’re nowhere near done with each other and you well know it.”

“I don’t—Ben, you’re too close,” Rey whispered, swaying towards him in spite of her words. “People will talk.”

“Let them.”

“Ben…”

“Come out onto the terrace with me, then,” he said, ghosting his lips over hers. “I’m not letting you out of my sight until we’ve discussed this properly.”

“I shouldn’t,” Rey faltered.  

“But you want to,” he said confidently.

“Yes,” she conceded, “but don’t let that go to your thick head, you arrogant swine!”

“Never,” Ben smiled, backing off slightly and placing her hand in the crook of his arm. “Right this way, my lady.”

——————

Alarm bells were going off in her head as Ben lead her out to the deserted veranda, but she ignored them. What could he possibly do to her thirty feet from his mother’s packed drawing room?

Quite a lot, as it turned out.

Rey moaned as his wide lips crashed over hers the moment they reached a secluded alcove. He didn’t give her time to think let alone argue, backing her into the cool balustrade and cupping the back of her head with firm fingers. Leaning into his massive chest without a shred of self-preservation, Rey gripped the front of his finely made dinner jacket, pulling him even closer. It felt so good to be in his arms again.

Too good. Get ahold of yourself, Rey. You were supposed to discuss…you were…there was something… Losing her train of thought as Ben’s hips slid into contact with hers, Rey was instantly aware of the hard jut of his body. He was a large man, her Ben, all over.

When they parted to catch their breath few tumultuous minutes later, Ben took the opportunity to rumble, “Does Finn Johnson kiss you like that?” and ruin the moment.

“What?” she asked, dumbfounded by the abrupt accusation.

“Johnson,” he glowered. “How long have you known him?”

“Finn? Why do you—Ben, are you jealous?” Rey gaped, shocked by the notion. The man’s family had more money than the crown for goodness sake! He could have anything he wanted, any woman he wanted. So, why was he jealous of her?

“Of course I am! You went from my arms to his within a matter of hours!” he grumbled, honest to the point of insolence. “It’s insulting!”

“That wasn’t my intent.”

“This isn’t funny, Rey. I need to know how deeply you’re involved with—”

“Ben, it’s not like that,” Rey interjected. “You needn’t be jealous; the Earl and I are just friends. We used to play together as children, that’s all.”

“Just friends, huh?”

“Yes! And if you don’t believe me, you can—”

“I believe you,” he broke in. “You’re many things, Rey Niima, but you’re not a liar.”

“Oh, well, good,” she said lamely.

A tense silence stretched between them until Ben chuckled, his deep voice surrounding her in the relative darkness of their hideaway. “Is that what we are?”

“What?”

“Friends,” he said with a crooked grin. “Are we friends?”

“We’re…” Family? Friends? Lovers? Rey trembled with uncertainty and barely repressed desire. Tell him, Rey. Tell him about Luke. “I don’t know what we are.”

“Is that why you’re upset with me?” he probed, absently playing with the fine hairs at the nape of her neck. It was an oddly comforting gesture and Rey had to fight not to lean into it. “Because you’re unsure about the future of our relationship?”

“The future of our relationship?” she parroted.

“We’re lovers, Rey,” Ben reminded her with a smirk. “You’re my woman now.”

“I’m not—we’re not—it was a one-time thing,” she stammered. Tell him!

“We’ll see about that,” he challenged, dipping his head toward hers again.

“Am I the only one?” she queried, quickly turning her cheek to avoid his tempting mouth. “What about that woman who was hanging all over you earlier?”

“What woman?” Ben tilted her chin to make her look at him again.

“The one sitting next to you on that ostentatious bolt of red velvet when I came downstairs,” Rey reminded him.

“Oh, her?” he said dismissively. “I barely heard a word she said to me; I was waiting for you.”

“You were?”

Ben nodded, gently framing her flushed face. She tried not to melt under his sincere stare, but it was tough going.

“Well, you still shouldn’t have let that black-haired hussy put her hands on you the day after making love to me,” she chastised half-heartedly. Did you make love to me? Or was it just…

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, pressing a tender kiss to her freckled cheek.

“Stop it,” Rey breathed.

“Stop what?”

“You know what!”

Ben trailed his lips across her face to her mouth, but he didn’t close the distance. “Kiss me, Rey.”

Don’t you dare, Rey! You need to find out what he knows about the inheritance before you give into your baser needs. Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it!

“Please,” he whispered longingly.

Dammit.

Rey slammed her lips over his, kissing him so fiercely that he actually staggered back a few paces before wrapping her up against him. His hands were in her hair, on her body, everywhere, as uncoordinated as his harsh breathing, showing her without words just how much he wanted her. Emboldened by his enthusiastic response, Rey fumbled with the buttons holding his coat closed, frantic to push aside her doubts and lose herself in his arms instead.

Argh! Why won’t these stupid things—

“Ben? Rey? Are you out here?”

The young couple froze in horror as Han Solo’s voice cut through their passion like a knife.

“Oh my god!” Rey exclaimed. “Your father!”

“Bloody hell,” Ben swore.

“Oh my god!” she repeated. “Ben, if he catches us like this…”

“It’s okay, we’re well hidden,” he assured her, but his tone was less than convincing.

“Are you sure? What if—”

“Calm down,” he mumbled, still breathing harshly.

“Calm down?!” Rey returned incredulously. “Calm down?! How dare—”

Ben laughed despite the seriousness of the situation, hugging her close. “I was talking to myself.”

“Oh. Right. Sorry,” she said sheepishly as his arousal nudged her flat stomach. “So, what should we do?”

“You go first and take my father back inside. If he asks, tell him something came up and I had to step away,” he instructed.

“What about you?”

“I’ll follow in a few minutes, once I’ve had time to collect myself.”

“Okay,” Rey agreed. “How do I look?” she asked, stepping back.

“Beautiful,” he said gruffly.

Blushing to the roots of her sable hair at the appreciative look on Ben’s handsome face, Rey impulsively reached up to place a kiss on his long chin. “Don’t be too long.” Hurrying forward before he had a chance to respond, Rey intercepted Han before he could wander too far from the house. “Here I am, uncle! Is it time for supper yet? I’m starved!”

“Just about,” Han replied. “Leia sent me on a mission to find you and my son. You haven’t seen him, have you?”

“Ben? He went upstairs to take care of something,” Rey said easily. “He should be back shortly, though.”

“Is that so?” Han raised one dark eyebrow, taking in her slightly disheveled appearance.

“Yes,” she lied, nervously tucking an errant curl behind her ear. “Shall we?” Rey indicated the patio door.

“We shall, my dear,” he chuckled, looking toward the spot where she and Ben had been sequestered before turning around and opening the door for her. “I think you’ll find the seating arrangement interesting this evening,” Han said conversationally, taking her arm and leading her across the dance floor and into the dining room. “Your aunt really knows how to plan an entertaining party.”

Confused by his enigmatic statement, Rey just smiled and nodded. As long as nobody looked at her too closely, she was sure that she could survive the rest of the evening without scandal and have a civil conversation with Ben about Luke’s will after dinner.

But as Rey sat down in her assigned seat near the head of the huge dining table, Han’s words came into startling focus. Reading the name cards on either side of her plate with growing trepidation, Rey realized that Poe Dameron, Viscount of Yavin, was to be her dinner companion for the evening, not Ben.

Oh, Leia, she sighed when Ben arrived a few moments later, looking apoplectic as his mother escorted him to the other end of the table. You don’t even know what you’ve done.

——————

A/N: Or does she?! Haha! You’ll just have to wait and see, friends! I’m planning to finish up the second part of the tale in the next week or so, so please let me know what you think so far. I hope everyone is ready for the Year of Reylo because I sure as hell am!

[jennygoeseastbay]

2018 in Review

So I used to do one of these every year on my Livejournal, and I completely blew it off in 2017 because I kind of abandoned that medium, and because the last month of that year was complete consumed with packing and moving. I’m not entirely certain I want to get more active on here, but for now this is a good place for me to post this, simply to have the written record of my existence that I need in order to process all that has happened and reflect on how it has helped me to grow and improve as a person. If I’m feeling really ambitious, I might even backtrack and do one for 2017 next week, because I like to be complete in my self-documentation. ;)

01. What did you do in 2018 that you'd never done before? Visited Washington DC for the first time.

Visited the Los Cabos region of Mexico for the first time.

Closed a major gift from someone who had not already had decades of cultivation from their University.

Visited even more areas of California that were new to me, including Anaheim, Santa Barbara, Santa Maria, Pismo Beach, Paso Robles, and Lake Tahoe (I guess that also includes Nevada since we stayed in Carson City)

Visited Ashland Oregon for the first time.

Sold a piece of real estate. Phew!

Practiced Yin Yoga. (And walking meditation!)

Engaged in a yoga hike!

Also tried yoga with goats!

Attended WonderCon

Attended a county fair.

Road a bicycle somewhere other than a residential street

Tried kayaking

Ran a trail run race

02. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I never really make concrete resolutions, just some general proclamations about eating better, and putting more time into fitness and writing. Of these three things, the one I was most successful at this year, surprisingly enough, was eating better. In September I realized that it was time for a physical tune-up, and so I rejoined WW after a long time away, and though I still have a few pounds to go, I’ve been happy to have gotten a bit sleeker after dialing back the bread and cheese. I also attended a writing group called Shut Up and Write a couple times, and I’d like to become more of a regular at their cafe sessions in 2019, because I’ve found that their method (literally a concentrated hour of shutting up and writing) has been helpful the two times I’ve gone.

03. Did anyone close to you give birth? My dear friends Drew and Kelly had their first child in September. And my friend Lynn had her second child, a little girl, just a couple weeks ago. 04. Did anyone close to you die? Not super close, but a professor at UC Davis who I had worked with closely, passed very unexpectedly right before Halloween. 05. What countries did you visit? Mexico! Finally broke in my current passport with a new stamp! 06. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018? Good novel progress. Or more discipline on some other fiction and an essay that I just started tinkering with. A legit boyfriend. 07. What date(s) from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

January 2 was my first day on the job at UC Davis.

January 7 was a super fun evening at the Museum of Ice Cream in SF

January 13-15 was a wonderful weekend in Seattle where I got to meet my nephew Apollo for the first time and photograph his first swimming lesson for his parents.

January 20 was my second Women’s March outing in Sac with my friend Jade and her little ones.

January 27 was a day when I got to play tour guide for my friend Gricel and her husband when they were in SF visiting for the first time.

Feb. 10 and 11 was a fun weekend in Berkeley and SF, being silly and singing loudly with my former Cal colleagues who had become dear friends.

March 23-25 Was my whirlwind Anaheim weekend at Wondercon, and I got to catch up with my friend Mike, whom I’d not seen in a couple years.

March 30-April 1 was an epic road trip weekend, the first of what my friend Maya and I now call our Girls Gone Sensibly Wild excursions. We drove to Santa Barbara and visited the deserted UC campus there (it was closed for spring break) and also enjoyed an amazing live show featuring Dave Hause, Dan Andriano, and Cory Branan, among others at the Cold Spring Tavern. And then got a joint membership at Peachy Canyon Winery on our way back, because it was one of the few establishments open on Easter Sunday.

April 22 was Earth Day, and prompted me to venture out to Marin for an impromptu yoga hike at Rodeo Beach.

May 14 was my first appointment with a new hair stylist who would also unexpectedly become a trusted friend.

May 24 was my first time seeing Depeche Mode live, and it was incredible.

June 8-10 was my second of two hit it and quit it Chicago trips (although really, the first one wasn’t so much Chicago as it was Joliet) this year, and allowed me to reconnect with my dear friends Drew and Kelly (Drew finished his PhD at UChicago and I attended his commencement and hooding), have a day at the zoo with my friend Dawn, and also road trip to WI with my friend Mary for a beautiful and moving Lights Festival experience together.

June 30 was the day I attended my first ever CalShakes performance with Maya and our mutual friend Paola (Girls Gone Sensibly Wild continued!), and Maya also got me on a bike for the first time in ages, thanks to LimeBikes being available at the Pleasant Hill BART station. We took a short, wobbly, but fun ride down the Iron Horse Trail.

July 1 was the day I learned to kayak and surprisingly got myself through 5 miles of the Russian River without tipping over or running out of steam.

July 26 saw me reuniting with my dear pals Shannon and Glenn, when they were visiting the Sac area for a wedding.

July 27-29 was the weekend I drove up to Ashland to enjoy some time with my friend Debbie and to experience the Oregon Shakespeare Festival for the first time.

August 3-6 was when I somewhat unexpectedly had the delight of hosting my friend Clarise for a weekend visit. We drove down to Pacifica for the International Dog Surfing competition and I schooled her in the ways of California wine as much as I could with my limited knowledge.

The following weekend, August 9-13, I had a lovely time hosting and touring around with my 16 year old niece, and got to introduce her to the joy that is Santa Cruz. And yoga with goats!

August 30-Sept. 4 was when I hosted (this is a recurring theme in August, isn’t it?) my Aunt Sherrie for local sightseeing and a road trip up to Lake Tahoe.

Sept. 22-24 saw me heading down to L.A. for my cousin Katie’s wedding and some work meetings. It was the first time in ages that I got to connect with that specific branch of my family, and get to know them a bit better.

Sept. 29 was my first AFSP walk in Sac. And i was joined by Jade, her visiting mom, and her three little ones.

Sept. 30 was the really long hair session with Mason that helped solidify that we were legit friends (and included a shared sunset from the window of his hair studio!) and a quick follow up appointment on Oct. 3 allowed us to enjoy a rainbow and storm together.

Oct. 19-21 saw Maya and I doing another Girls Gone Sensibly Wild road trip. Back to Peachy Canyon to pick up some wine, and also Pismo Beach and Santa Maria for our first visit to a really lovely winery called Foxen.

Oct. 26 was quite possibly my all-time favorite Brian Fallon performance. It was just him alternating between his acoustic guitar and an electric piano, and he was joined by Craig Finn from The Hold Steady, who also did his own acoustic set.

Oct. 27 I got to introduce my new friend Torrey to the Old Sugar Mill in Clarksburg, and we did a fun wine and Halloween candy pairing and some epic day drinking.

Nov. 3 saw me reuniting with my Cal crew and a sprinkling of East Bay friends at Fillmore Karaoke, for an epic night of loud singing as an early celebration of my 40th bday. So much wine. Actually too much, but for a birthday, that’s acceptable!

Nov. 4-6 I was in Indianapolis for work, and though the work part wasn’t particularly memorable, I was super honored and thrilled that my BFF Dawn drove all the way down from Joliet IL with her two boys to have dinner with me on my first night there.

Nov. 9 was an epic Local H show in Sac. Also a welcome break in the midst of a period of forced solitude, after the Camp Fire residual smoke prompted my whole office to work from home for about a week to protect us from the terrible air quality.

Nov. 18 was the day we had the beautiful service honoring the life of a beloved professor who passed.

Nov. 24-29 was my trip to Cabo with my Aunt Sherrie, and was also my official bday celebration.

Dec. 9-12 was my DC trip, which also allowed me to catch up with my friend Max, who lives in Baltimore, and my friend Stacey, who also happened to be there for her own work purposes.

Dec. 15 was my full day of yoga retreating at Green Gulch Ranch in Marin, and then I drove to the East Bay to catch up with Maya at Calicraft, which is one of our favorite craft distilleries in the area.

Dec. 16 was a white elephant celebration in Pleasant Hill that allowed me to unexpectedly meet a new, interesting friend.

08. What was your biggest achievement of the year? So far, meeting all expectations at my new job and closing a major gift earlier than is required. Also not losing my shit during the condo selling process, even though there were a lot of reasons to do so.

09. What was your biggest failure? I wrote VERY little fiction. But I did dip my toe back into writing in general, so I guess there’s that. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I took a tumble at home that left my tailbone a bit tender about a month ago. But otherwise, no, pretty healthy, even after getting rear-ended in my car! 11. What was the best thing you bought? Various travel tickets, both air and rail. A beautiful new necklace that I found at the holiday market in D.C. All the concert tickets that provided soul-fueling live music.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Mine! I adjusted to a new job and an unfamiliar setting and managed to acquire a few new friends while also maintaining the East Bay friendships that meant the most to me. 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Who else but certain immediate family members? 14. Where did most of your money go? Rent. Travel. Wine, and to a lesser extent, craft beer, now that I’ve picked up a taste for stouts and sours. 15. What song will always remind you of 2018?

Anything off of Sleepwalkers by Brian Fallon

Anything off of  Be More Kind by Frank Turner

Chariot by Gavin DeGraw

Tall Green Grass by Cory Branan

16. Compared to this time last year, you are: Thinner and sleeker, weight-wise

More willing to make room for others and open my life and space to them (friend and lover both) Still as sleep-deprived as ever 17. What do you wish you'd done more of? Novel writing, as always. Flirting. And kissing. 18. What do you wish you'd done less of? Angsting over adulting-related things that were either beyond my control or that ended up working out just as they should.

19. How will you be spending/did you spend Christmas?

I’m driving to Santa Cruz on Xmas Eve and treating myself to an overnight stay so that I can indulge in my happy place and a sunset hike. Also get to celebrate Boxing Day for the first time with my friend Jade and her brood back in Sac.

20. How will you be spending/did you spend New Year’s Eve? Original plan was to hang at my friend Jade’s place with her kids, movies and snacks. But just learned the wee ones are ill, so now I’m not sure what I’m doing. That was how I spent last year (the original plan, that is), with the main difference being that last year I also went to a two-hour yin workshop beforehand, which was how I discovered my current yoga studio, and discovered how much I enjoy yin practice in general. 21. Did you fall in love in 2018?

No. But I made more effort to pursue it, and had more options than I think I’ve ever had in a single year. Which was kind of encouraging even if each one was relatively short-lived.

22. How many one-night stands? I always laugh when I read this question. How about I just wink knowingly and say a lady never tells? 23. What was your favorite TV program? Supernatural. iZombie. To a lesser extent, Riverdale, even though I’m still pretty behind on that one. Sons of Anarchy (which I know is old but I’m playing catchup via Netflix and Hulu) And as a guilty pleasure, Total Divas. And of course, I'm still casually following WWE on the WWE network, though the only thing I’m finding compelling aside from the women’s matches are the Brits featured on the UK specific programming. 24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No, I don't think so. 25. What was the best book you read? I finally got into the Harry Potter series and I’m really enjoying it. I just finished the Order of the Phoenix, and have the next installment requested from the library. 26. What was your greatest musical discovery? Not entirely new, but my appreciation for Cory Branan was reinforced and amplified after seeing him in Santa Barbara. And I’m also on a rediscovery tear with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and the Cold War Kids.

27. What did you want and get? Reassurance that this move to Sac was the right next step, after I settled in to my new role relatively easily. 28. What did you want and not get? Romantic love for an extended period. More down time. 29. What was your favorite film(s) of this year? Bohemian Rhapsody, even though I know it had some historical inaccuracies.

A Quiet Place was hard because of the ending, but decent as well.

And the latest Halloween was hella satisfying, especially since I caught it after needing an escape after learning about the passing of the professor I mentioned earlier.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I prepped for my Cabo departure, went exploring at the Cosumnes River Trail, which is also a bird sanctuary, and caught the movie Widows with my work friend Christine. Then she took me to Panera for dinner. Couldnt’ do much more than that since I had a 5 am flight the following morning. I turned 40.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Love, as always. 32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018? Activewear as much as possible. But never enough. 33. What kept you sane? My friends. The various trips I took and rock shows I attended. Junk food. Wandering in nature.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Jensen Ackles. Tom Hiddleston. Charlie Hunnan. Idris Elba. My taste doesn't change much. 35. Who did you miss? Dawn. Becca. Kelly and Drew. Stephanie and Scott. Rob. Elspeth. Mike K. Jason. 36. Who was the best new person you met?

Lu

Ellen

Mason

Torrey

Anthony

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018 Never underestimate my own ability to adapt to new situations, and to handle my own shit like a boss. I had a few challenging things thrown at me, namely the condo selling process, and the logistical gymnastics that followed after having to bring my car in for a bumper repair following a recent rear-ending, and though I felt tested by both of those situations, I ultimately succeeded at navigating both of them to a positive end.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

I’m always starting over....

I don’t wanna waste the nights in my life

But I never fit in, or felt home in my skin.

I’m waiting on a big love, baby.

--Brian Fallon, “Her Majesty’s Service”

[zillabean]

In which Zilla talks about Shiro, her stupid passions, and her fears for the upcoming season(s).

Let me first preface this all by saying I am fully and openly admitting to my status as a huge, HUGE Shiro Stan, and as such I understand that while I might be trying to be as objective as possible, I do come from a standpoint of being very passionate about Shiro’s character, and admitting that bias is important. I also want to emphasis that everything that follows is my own personal opinion alone, and I do not expect others to necessarily agree or disagree, but know that this is just me talking about My Feelies and not me trying to push my opinions onto anyone else.

If you’ve followed me for long enough, you’ll know that Shiro is my absolute favorite character in VLD. So much so that he’s really my sole reason for being so obsessed with this series, so invested am I in his story, his character, and his interactions with his team. The team and ALL the characters as a whole are incredible, and while I absolutely appreciate the story and writing for each personality, Shiro is MY favorite and always the parts I look forward to the most.

That being said, I am once again dreading what’s going to happen to him in the upcoming season(s). From what Barlee said about S6 being extremely divisive (see her twitter @barleedraws), my old fear of them potentially killing off my most favorite character once again has bubbled up to the surface. Project Kuron has been taking a terribly long time to build up and pay off, and I’m honestly really quite tired and anxious to see the REAL SHIRO once again. He arguably has been missing from the series since the climax of S2, and only until that One Scene in S5 when he calls out faintly to Lance in Voltron’s astral grid do we see a glimpse of OUR Shiro since his disappearance from the cockpit of the Black Lion.

I am genuinely terrified that they’re going to kill him off, or somehow remove him from the Team. I’m terrified that they will take the Black Lion away from him. I’m terrified they’ll sideline him, and plop him into another role with less significance and meaning for his character. I’m terrified they will continue to harm him, as time and time again it’s been shown that he’s a bit of Dreamworks’ Paladin Pinata – the one character who is constantly, repeatedly, put through the wringer with no breaks whatsoever. He is the ONE Paladin we have absolutely no backstory about other than he was in the Garrison. We don’t know anything about his family, or who he was before the Garrison and his capture by the Galra, and we know nothing about his time WITH the Galra during the ‘Champion’ year. Every other Paladin at least has had some sort of mention or glimpse of family, except Shiro. He’s like a ghost. And he has not caught a break since. He went from being a tortured Galran prisoner to a lab rat experiment, to being harmed repeatedly by Haggar, to being forced into an Astral Plane fight with Zarkon, to being torn from his Lion at the end of S2, and now here we are again, with him being some sort of compromised sleeper agent/clone/android thing. He is quite literally the one character they’ve put through the wringer the most and hasn’t caught a single break.

This is devastating not just from the sheer amount of rollercoaster turmoil he’s been through, but because Shiro is just a really kind-hearted guy who wants nothing but the best for his team. He’s always been Team First, Self Last. He’s traumatized and suffering internally, he’s flawed and imperfect, but does his best to hold it together for his Space Fam because this Found Family gives him hope and meaning in a very painful life.

His bond with the Black Lion is probably my most favorite ‘relationship’ in Voltron. I would argue that nobody fought harder for their Lion than Shiro, who had to fight Zarkon for its soul in the Astral Plane and nearly died trying to earn its Trust the Right Way. He spent 2 whole seasons fighting for that Lion, for its trust, for its bond, for its connection – never through force, but through a mutual understanding of each other. Two whole seasons. Only to have all that hard work ripped away from him at the end of S2, after he won back the Black Bayard and unlocked those incredible Wings. He would have given his life for that Lion, and to see it all get taken away was devastating to me.

And now, with Project Kuron going the way it is, I won’t be surprised if the penultimate climax of it all is Keith being forced to fight Shiro and ultimately taking control of the Black Lion. While I understand that this is wonderful for Keith fans (and especially fans of the original versions of Voltron which ALL star Keith as the Black Paladin), for someone who came into VLD fresh and watched Shiro go through 2 whole seasons of pain for that Lion, the idea of the Black Lion being taken away from him and given to another is heart-breaking to me. Team Voltron, leading his team mates, earning the Trust of the Black Lion – these are all things that give his beleaguered life meaning, and to see him stripped of that is just devastating. Shiro is bonded to that Lion after all his hard work, and I sincerely feel that taking it all away from him is a massive disservice to his character and to all the fans who’ve watched him grow together with it.

Please understand that this is also not a dig at Keith. As mentioned before, Keith has historically ALWAYS been the pilot of the Black Lion, so it is very likely this is the way the story will go considering the history of the series and how Shiro had been grooming him for the role since the beginning. This is heart-breaking to me, a Shiro fan, but from a series’ history standpoint, it is a very likely possibility. I was always saddened by the whole Lion swap because despite it being a nostalgic nod to the original series, VLD is its own show now, and having spent 2 whole Seasons 1+2 emphasizing how important the Bond is between Lion and Paladin, to see that all get swept aside in favor of realigning the lions to their original pilot lineup for nostalgia’s sake was really disheartening. Lance bonded with Blue IMMEDIATELY and they were practically more friends than Paladin/Lion. He was a natural. And Keith... Keith earned Red’s trust when he showed him he would fight for him, and Red is the only Lion I recall ever seeing go after its Paladin without the Paladin’s impetus. When Keith was facing the Trials of Marmora, Red could sense him, and went for him. He rescued him from floating away forever in Space with Allura as well. Red KNOWS Keith. And Shiro and Black, well you know how I feel about their relationship. Each of these Lions chose their Paladin, and with how much emphasis was put on the whole Spiritual Bond between Lion and Paladin, seeing the Lions swap pilots so quickly at the beginning of S3 was really poor for me. It still doesn’t feel right to me, seeing everyone in swapped Lions. I don’t think it ever will.

That being said, yes, I am TERRIFIED of Shiro being stripped of the Black Lion and being demoted to a lesser role and eventually sidelined from his beloved Team. I’m terrified, once again, that they will kill him off. I’m terrified of seeing my favorite character be destroyed in one way or another, as that would likely end the show for me. I ADORE this show, but I openly admit I really am in it for Shiro and his adventures with his Team, and if he is removed or torn away, my enjoyment of this series will lessen greatly, if not completely. I know others with intense love for their favorites would understand, even if they wouldn’t admit to it.

.... I really honestly could go on and on and on, but I will cut it off here for the sake of not torturing you all with my Deep Shiro Conspiracy Theories. I really just had to get this off my chest as I’ve had it bottled up since I saw Barlee’s tweet about S6 being a wringer for fans. I’m a grown ass woman who loves a cartoon man so much that she’s been thinking of this day and night, and it’s pretty embarassing, but if there’s any place I can be myself, it’s here. So to those of you who’ve made it this far, thank you for that :)

I also want to emphasize something else. No matter what happens... whether Shiro has a wonderful fate or a terrible one... at the end of the day, I fully accept that this is NOT MY STORY. I hold no ill will towards the showrunners, the writers or any of the VLD staff whatsoever. They have a story to tell, they have jobs to do, and if this is the story they write, this is the story they write. They owe nothing to me or anyone else because it is not my story. Their vision is their own, and I’m sure fans will be divided no matter what, considering how divided they are when times are ‘good’! But at the end of the day I fully respect everyone’s hard work in creating this incredible series, even if it ends up not being for me any longer if Shiro is gone.

I also want say that, again, this is entirely my personal opinion, and it one coming from the viewpoint of a massive Shiro Stan. I don’t expect others to agree with me, and I fully appreciate that folks who prefer other characters will disagree completely. This is just me, needing to get something off my chest, as immature as it may sound. I thought I was long past the era of allowing cartoon characters to affect me this deeply, but I guess some of us just never grow up :)

Thank you for coming to my TED Whine :)

[fourtrisheafanfic]

A Werewolf Among Dragons (Part I)

GoT fanfic: A Werewolf Among Dragons (Part I)

Tumblr - JONERYS Appreciation Week

Day 7 Prompt: free choice (I picked a werewolf/jonerys story)

Rating: Mature (M)

Summary: In a world where the rules that governed the werewolves for centuries are tested and broken, many are forced to sacrifice for the needs of The Pack. Some asked to sacrifice more than others.

Ordered-Mating (ôr'dər’ed mā'tĭng): The predetermined conveniently arranged pairing of a male and a female for the purpose of reproduction and protecting and preserving a royal pack.

PART I: HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF

++o+ Kings Landing +o++

+o+ The Targaryen Pack +o+

“Daenerys, enough of your insolence! I am the alpha of this pack and you will yield to me!” Aerys Targaryen  hisses coldly at his last remaining a child. “Get out of my sight, child! Not another word on this subject. Go!”

“In fact, all you, get out, clear the room,” the Alpha screams across the room as all exit. The majority of the werewolves look frightened, even the ones that are guards,  as they scurry out quickly. But not Daenerys, calm and collected while slowly walking out. Testing him of course.

Always testing him.

The child that was gifted with more fierceness and strength then the rest of his children combined. Which explains why the others have since perished, leaving him with only one heir. Leaving him with only one chance to save the Targaryen Pack.

This child was truly a force to be reckoned with.

His last surviving child - that was sadly just a female.

Finally alone to think, realizing his patience wearing very thin, he fights to control his rage. Time was of the essence, this plan was their last hope.

The Targaryen Pack, werewolf and masters of the dragons, is the most important house among the intricate balance kept by numerous werewolf packs across the kingdom. They could not fail.

The fates had been cruel to Aerys over the years.  Betrothed to a female werewolf that detested him, their union had been hateful and cruel.

The three children she bore him were all forced upon her. They would only lie together for purposes of producing heirs. Which she had not wanted any part of.

Their first two sons, Rhaegar and Viserys have tragically died. Rhaegar as a young boy, killed by The Wildlings, the organized pack of rogue werewolves. Daenerys was just a toddler, she did not remember him. Viserys died last year, again the Wildlings were to blame. His idiot son could not stay away from the brothels or random whores, a Wildling with red wild hair had seduced him and then poisoned the future Alpha of the Targaryen pack.

The only solace was how the red-haired devil was made to suffer. Unspeakable things were done to her, barely kept alive so that her suffering could continue for days.

Thinking back to his dead wife, Rhaella had been the daughter of the Alpha from Pack Tyrell, the most beautiful she-wolf he had ever seen. The title she held until their own daughter, Daenerys, had been born, surpassing her mother in both strength and beauty.

They might have had a chance for happiness, or to at least avoid a lifetime of despair. If only she hadn’t found him.

For thousands of centuries the traditions of the wolves relied on strength through the pairing of one to their fated mate through the mate-bond. It was less than five generations ago that the highest council met to review the devastating impact of a mate-less heir to a royal line.

Desperate time called for desperate measures. The unions of royal house to royal house was determined to trump the mate-bond. An Ordered-Mating was designed to save the royal lines while ensuring the highest possibility for a pack’s survival.

The lovely Tyrell daughter had been ordained to the young Alpha of the most powerful pack, a destiny she had willingly agreed to. Her brothers were in their rightful place to rule the Tyrell pack, she was strong and ambitious – she wanted to fulfill her role as future Luna of the highest reigning pack. His princess Rhaella had been happy even.

Everything had been settled until fate stepped in the way. Targaryen werewolf soldiers sent to Highgarden to retrieve the Tyrell daughter, were the highest decorated warriors in all the lands.

It was during the voyage back to Kings Landing that the highest knight offered Rhaella his hand while assisting her into the carriage. It was an uncanny coincidence that he had previously removed his glove, it had accidentally ripped moments earlier and been discarded.

The moment their fingers touched, skin to skin, the mate bond revealed itself. In that moment Rhaella’s heart and life belonged to her knight, and his to her. Their eyes widening, the knight placed his finger to his lips to encourage her silence.

The bonded werewolves knew that the Royal Targaryen family would never honor Rhaella’s truemate bond over the Ordered-Mating that had been ordained. During the journey the couple was able to steal moments, as their love for each other only intensified. They planned to run away together, she could not bear the thought of a life without him. It was only rumored that the couple completed the mate bond during their first stolen night. Aerys knew it was true, as Rhaella had told him in great detail what an incredible lover her mate had been. To this day the thought enraged him.  

They lovers were ultimately caught, the young Alpha was furious and humiliated. The couple dragged to Kings Landing to face judgement. Aerys can still remember his bride’s screams, begging for mercy of her beloved knight, her mate. Her cries were in vain, only spurring the Alpha’s cruelty further. No one crosses a dragon and survives.

The Tyrell daughter was locked in the highest tower, with a sealed window, so that she could watch. Her knight was convicted of treason, and brutally tortured before being beheaded by the dragon that belonged to her betrothed. Her knight’s torture continued for a full day, her screams of agony echoing through the upper levels of the castle.

After a period of solitude and waiting, to ensure Rhealla was not pregnant with her dead lover’s child, the Ordered-Mating proceeded. The young Alpha had come up with ways to torment her, not allowing her to see the sun or run outside during her waiting, which was excruciating to her inner wolf. The union was dysfunctional and cruel, the Alpha and Luna never found peace or mutual ground.

It was because of Rhealla and her knight, it was written into law that once the true mate-bond of a high born was found…they would be ordered to death.

The werewolf bond is only discovered through physical, flesh to flesh contact. To avoid complications young werewolves that will likely need to marry for position and power and forbidden to touch a werewolf of the opposite sex.

The warning to young nobles was clear, you may find your great love, only to cost them their life in the most brutal way.

Replaying the heated argument with his only daughter, he knew she would eventually yield for the sake of her pack. Aerys gave the order: send the raven, the princess Daenerys has accepted the terms of the Ordered-Mating. They are to send us her groom within one fortnight's time.

+++o+++

Dany shook with rage as she paced through the castle, fantasizing about running away. She is the only heir, she knows that Drogon would allow her to ride him and they could just run away. Away from Red Keep, away from Kings Landing, away from her future Alpha.

What a cruel joke! She is the one that was raised in the capital. She has Targaryen blood running through her veins. She has trained as a warrior since she was old enough to walk. But now, she will be forced to marry the second son of an Alpha.

Turning to an empty corridor Dany finally stops to lean her back against the cold stone of the wall. Feeling the tension in her shoulders she slowly breathes in and out to calm herself.

Her mother’s words ringing in her ears:

It is unnatural, an abomination against what sets us apart from the dogs. The werewolf mate-bond is what makes us stronger. Uniting with our one fated love. Producing blessed children that are strong and noble.

You must resist my beautiful daughter, you should be safe as your older brother will carry the burden of forwarding the Targaryen line. Thank goodness you are not the first born.

Dany frowns sadly, it was one of the last conversations she ever had with her mother before she died from illness. Her mother had always been fragile and tired. Blaming it on the death of her beloved mate, with whom the mate-bond had been sealed.

Scowling, Dany knows that she will never leave her home. She was raised to rule, and rule she must.

Even if she does have to tolerate some ill-bred that thinks he is going to be Alpha.

We will see about that! Dany thinks with a smile.

Slipping off her dress she decides to go for a run. Dany has never had an issue with her nudity, much to her father’s dismay. She welcomes the transformation pain that comes as her inner wolf is released. She is truly a magnificent beast, although tiny and petite when in human form - - when she releases her inner wolf she morphs into the most powerful female she-wolf ever seen in this kingdom. A true transformation, only her violet eyes remaining. Every trace of her silver hair hidden as her wolf’s fur is raven black.

She once heard the prophet say she is a ferocious wolf as she was conceived in hate. It was well known that her mother was never willing to lie with the Alpha. It was a duty that she detested.

As Dany runs ferociously through her lands, for the first time she feels dread. It will be her duty to produce her Ordered-Mate an heir.

Damned it, she scowls.

++o+ End of Part I of III +o++

Read Part II Here (link)

Author’s Note: This is my day 7 post for Jonerys Appreciation Week. My first ever fanfic with werewolves, I’ve read so many but I’ve never been brave enough to write. Shout out to @awolfshapedbullet for the prompt to combine Jonerys & Werewolves.

[theemryslegacy]

Adela: Unfinished Business

Adela: Unfinished Business [1/1]

Summary: Sometimes unfinished business can lead to a dangerous new beginning.

Notes: Takes place 8 - 10 years prior to current TOR storyline. 

May or may not include a particular game NPC. Makes use of the Coruscant Phonebook translator for Minnisiat, Cheunh, and Old Corellian.

More than a little anxious to be posting this out here, but we’ll see how it goes.

Posted without beta and with minimal editing. ***

She dressed as casually as she dared on Zeltros -- a wrapped skirt, split to above the knee, and draped around the waist. The matching top left her midriff open to the cooling ocean breezes. Per the house rules, her feet are equally as bare, sandals left with the assiduously helpful Zeltronian female in the lobby. She had the distinct impression the attendant knew who she was -- expected her, even, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

The bar itself was large and well-populated, low murmured conversations and ambient music greeting her. A few gazes marked her, but most simply slid off. Their attentions quickly returned to their drink or their date, whichever seemed more enticing. Not a single one seemed overly interested. She frowned. Her contact should have arrived ahead of her.

Making her way to the bar proper, she ordered a Corellian whiskey -- top shelf -- and settled in for a wait. It was as she picked up her drink for the first sip that she felt it: The prickle of hair along the back of her neck, followed by the slightest hum. Looking up into the mirror behind the shelves, she stopped as her pale blue irises met the red glow of familiar Chiss eyes.

Those eyes held hers as he crossed the room, and she couldn’t help but note how little he had changed: The same flawless medium blue skin that blended with the same well-manicured hair, though a lock or two flopped across his forehead. She noted, too, that the trappings of rank had disappeared, white and bronze traded for coordinating shades of grey, equally flattering as his usual attire.

As he joined her, a soft smile curved his wide mouth. He spoke quietly in Minnisiat, knowing she would understand. «The night air here agrees with you, Agent.»

Adela allowed her eyes to drift over him, openly admiring the way his shirt, constructed of a fine, lightweight material, draped casually across broad shoulders, tucked into a pair of well-fitting cargo pants -- a sharp contrast to his usual, formal attire. Dragging her eyes back to meet his, she allowed her own flirtatious smile She had almost forgotten how imposing his form could be. «I could say the same about you… Though I confess, I am surprised to have gotten your message.»

«I apologize for the discretion,» he said. The bartender appeared and placed a short glass of an amber liquid on the polished surface. The Chiss nodded his thanks, picking it up and taking a small sip. He slipped into the narrow space between Adela and the stool behind him. His hand came to rest on the bar, fingers curled over the rounded edge. She felt the heat radiating off of him, recalling how welcome and secure it felt amidst a snowy cavern. «I thought it appropriate that our mutual friend believe I had information to impart.»

She nodded. Proper male Chiss didn’t engage in affairs, much less with human females. As a ranking member of the Ascendancy, discretion was even more essential: Discovery could mean disgrace or banishment, resulting in a complete loss of face for his house and family.  It made sense then, that secrets be kept -- even with his own former protegee, now a member of her crew. «And do you have information to impart?»

«Of a more personal nature,» he replied, «ill-suited for anyone other than the intended recipient.» The red-eyed gaze captured her own again, holding it with a new intensity. «We did not get to say a proper farewell.»

The agent arched her brow. «And you wanted to correct the situation? Even after all this time?»

He nodded. «I said before that you were a woman not soon forgotten.»

«This is great deal of trouble to simply say goodbye.» Reaching over, she traced his index finger with her own before interlacing her fingers with his. Her heartbeat echoed in her ears, pulse racing at the contact. It took a great deal of self restraint to keep her tone nonchalant as she countered, «Perhaps a proper greeting might be in order, instead…?»

His nostrils flared slightly and he drew a deep breath. His thumb then trailed across her palm, igniting a rush through her. «That can be arranged,» he said, his voice deep, and slightly rough. «I dared not presume, but, given the moments we shared previously, I thought perhaps you would join me in my lodgings nearby. I can promise we will not be interrupted.»

Adela tightened her fingers in his, nodding. She stood, the action closing the remaining distance between them. Her chest brushed against his as she drew breath, gaze darting involuntarily to his lips and back. «Perhaps, then,» she said, «we should settle our bill and make our way.»

«A wise idea.» He caught the attention of the bartender. That accomplished, he nodded, an action that was echoed by the server. The imposing Chiss then regarded her. “Shall we?” he said, finally switching to basic.

“We shall,” the agent replied. She took her place a half step ahead of him, feeling his fingers brush lightly against the bare skin of her lower back. “And what is it I should call you while we’re here?”

As she cast him a glance over her shoulder, she caught the ghost of a smirk twitching across his lips. “In public I thought, perhaps, Olys Dul’skal might be appropriate,” he said.

Her surprise gave way to her own smirk. So he had read up on his Old Corellian. She shouldn’t be surprised, she supposed; the Chiss were notorious for planning to the last detail. Like any Chiss, he planned even this to the last detail. “Old friend, indeed,” she replied with a chuckle. “And… in private?”

They wound their way up the path into the treeline, headed for one of the many leisure homes that dotted the hillside. His hand flattened against her lower back. “In private, you may call me whatever you wish,” he said, then dropped back into Minnisiat. «...my Red Flame.»

***

Somewhere in the fog between sleep and consciousness, Adela curled into the side of her lover, his wiry blue arm tightening around her as the chirp of a communicator echoed into the otherwise silent room. “Hells,” she muttered. She rolled over, tossing the covers back as she sat up. “I forgot to check in with Dev.”

The Chiss calling himself “Olys” shifted onto his side and propped himself on his elbow. He watched her scan the floor for her clothing, regarding her with furrowed brows. “Dev?”

Reaching for her skirt, Adela withdrew her comm with a slight grin. “It means ‘duty’ in Old Corellian -- the perfect codename for our mutual friend,” she replied. His expression mirrored hers as she opened the channel. “This is Letar. We’re secure. Go ahead, Dev.”

“Glad to hear from you, sir,” came the response. The timid female voice seemed almost synthetic -- metallic -- transmitted across the distance. “You missed your check-in, so I was becoming concerned.”

“My apologies, Dev,” the agent began. She lowered herself back onto the bed, grin widening as her lover reached for her. He trailed his fingers up her arm. The feather touch sent a shiver through her, skin erupting in gooseflesh. “Our old friend and I have been… analysing the information.” She levelled a gaze at him. “It may yet take another cycle -- or two -- in order to complete our analysis and come to an understanding.”

“I see, sir.” There was a moment of silence and Adela was at once certain that the junior operative had not been fooled by any attempts at discretion. But then, knowing both parties involved, and having been present during their early interactions, Dev was more than aware of their initial attraction. “Should I then have the crew stand down and enjoy the planet?”

Adela arched a brow at Olys in silent inquiry. He paused, briefly, and nodded. “Yes,” she replied, “that sounds like a perfect idea. Let’s set departure at dusk, in three cycles.”

Another brief silence followed, this one with a few beeps in the background. The noises seemed to indicate that Dev was calling from the bridge of the ship. “Understood, sir. I’ll pass your orders on,” she said at length. There was a pause. “Do be careful, sir -- both of you.”

At this, Olys arched his brow. He closed his hand over Adela’s, holding the comm. “We will, Dev. Ch’acevi out.” Withdrawing the device from her hand, he reached across her and placed it on the nightstand beside the bed.

“Ch’acevi?” she echoed, recreating the sounds as best she could. “Friend?”

He simply nodded. “Unlike many humans, Dev has managed to master my native language.”

Adela gave a wry grin, leaning toward him. “While the rest of us must simply make do with Minnisiat?” He hummed his agreement as she kissed him and she drew back. Her expression sobered, however, and she ran her fingers through the dark blue hair at his temples. “Though I do hope we’re now much more than friends.”

“We were already more than friends when you departed,” Olys replied. He pursed his lips, brow furrowing as he considered his next words. “The connection we share is… peculiar. Impossibly strong -- forceful, almost, in the way it seems to demand attention. Had you been Chiss, I would have brought you into my house, made you my en’von’ot -- my consort.”

“I see.” And indeed, she did see: Despite her implants, despite her training, he could still sense her. The implication was overwhelming. Steeling herself, Adela drew a deep breath and exhaled slowly, swallowing back the knot forming at the back of her throat. “And because I’m human…”

“Because you are human, we are here, courting disaster -- for both of us, hu'qoumue.”

Adela blinked. Beloved. He called her beloved. “I -- ” She faltered. Closing her eyes, she pushed beyond her implants, reaching out with the ancient connection she had all but abandoned, seeking him out among the glowing lights surrounding them. She could sense his sincerity, his respect, and his concern, but mostly she could feel the very deep affection he held for her at his core.

She then turned her search inward. The tangle of emotions she found there threatened to overwhelm her -- an indistinct swirl, impossible to tell where one ended and another began. But at the core, she could feel the embers of her own affection reaching out and beginning to merge so well with the passion and affinity he inspired in her.

This, she thought, had the potential to get very, very messy. And yet… she knew she couldn’t pull away. Opening her eyes, she searched his gaze. “Then we should enjoy our three cycles,” she replied at length. “Force only knows when we may get another moment.”

Adela lowered her head, pressing her lips to his. Olys drew back after a long moment. “I will ensure we have another moment -- as many as can be managed,” he replied. “But yes, until then, we should enjoy the time we have.” His hand then curled at the base of her neck, guiding her lips back to his. The two were quickly lost to further discussion.